Remembering John Gilmore on what would have been his 86th birthday

July 5, 2021 marks what would have been the 86th birthday of the iconic true crime author John Gilmore. Known for his vivid and hard-hittingly honest Hollywood memoirs, John was also a talented actor and artist. Best known for his works on The Black Dahlia, Elizabeth Short (“Severed”), Charles Manson (“TheGarbage People”), Marilyn Monroe (“Inside Marilyn Monroe”), and James Dean (“Live Fast — Die Young: My Life with James Dean” and “The Real James Dean”). His books “Laid Bare: A Memoir of Wrecked Lives and the Hollywood Death Trip” and “L.A. Despair: A Landscape of Crimes & Bad Times” offered an unabashed look into the lives and times of both some of the most beloved icons of our time to some of the darkest days of Hollywood. He also researched the lives of Bonnie and Clyde from the time he was a teenager, pouring all he had learned into his last work, “On the Run with Bonnie and Clyde.” He left this world on October 13, 2016 leaving behind his son Carson and daughter Ursula.

In the short time I knew him John came to be the dearest and closest friend I have ever known. Leaving me with words I shall carry with me always. Namely, “Bonnie never shot nobody.” And most importantly, “You are fine as you are, however you are. What the world thinks of you does not matter. Because, what the fuck does the world know anyway?” Which is something I think we can all stand to be reminded of as we go through life. I cannot help but remember him fondly for his amazingly vivid works as well as his sincere kindness and grit, which are a unique combination of traits that I sorely miss. As someone who lived to work and was the best at what he did, John Gilmore left behind the gift of his words to capture the imagination and minds of generations to come.

An Interview with and the Art of John Cerney

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The art of John Cerney has delighted the eyes of audiences along the Midwest and California for decades. The massive roadside cutouts add personality to the land they inhabit while reminding people of the roadside art of a bygone era. https://www.johncerneymurals.com/

What was it like growing up in Salinas when you did? What are some of your most fond memories of those days?

I had a normal childhood growing up in Salinas, although my family probably moved about 15 times from when I was born until I left high school. I attended several schools because of this, so I made different sets of friends along the way. My parents had a loveless type of marriage, but me and my three brothers were never left wanting. They finally divorced when I was a high school senior so by then we were left to our own devices. My childhood was a time when the kids could just go off on our own and find our own fun where we could find it.

My fond memories as a kid aren’t so much about Salinas, but more of the sense of wonderment that most kids experience…going to my first major league ball game, traveling on vacations and seeing things you only saw in magazines, seeing movies at the theater. The kind of magical feelings that as an adult, and with knowledge and experience, I don’t quite feel anymore.

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How did you first come to discover your love of art?

I first became enchanted with art, as far as doing it myself, was when I was working in the lettuce business after high school, and in my free time, I decided to paint my old pickup truck…every square inch of it…with all sorts of things. James Dean on the hood! Clint Eastwood….King Tut….cartoons…maps…a Picasso on one of my doors. My very first creation, then, was a public art piece, which I would return to years later. I would leave the lettuce business at 26 and attend a junior college, where I took a few art classes on a whim. It was my slow progression into learning from teachers and artists. I continued on and got an art degree from Cal State Long Beach in Southern California.

I have to add that I did enjoy artistic ‘things’ even younger. In high school, I was the go-to guy to design posters for friends who were running for office, and I also took 3 years of drafting, which gave me a new set of skills that certainly helped along the way.

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How did your work progress from portraits to murals? How do the two differ most?

I still do lots of portraits in my mural work…almost all of my work has people in them. I spent my early years as an artist working in Southern California in the TV industry. Then I was doing mostly pencil drawings, for actors, producers and writers. There is certainly more pressure to produce a portrait for a client, so it has to be a good likeness, and even improve upon it if I can. There’s more looseness involved if I’m painting people in my normal outdoor murals, say where a farmer just has to look like a farmer. The viewer doesn’t care at all if it doesn’t look quite like Fred, the model. What I was learning along the way, however, was to get better at replicating the photo I was working from. I feel that now, if I’m working from a good photo, my job is almost done…I just have to paint what I see.

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What is the most challenging issue you deal with when working on such a large scale?

What I found after becoming strictly a painter, and working large, is that it’s not as tedious as doing my pencil drawings. My hands can be looser. After a day of drawing with pencils, my fingers and hand would be beat up. The only challenging thing about working larger is that I’m getting older, and handling sheets of plywood, setting posts in the ground, working with concrete…those things are slowly becoming more challenging. I have some neck issues I have to be careful about. There will be a time where I’ll return to my drawing table when working so large becomes tougher.

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Do you ever get dizzy having to climb to work on the pieces? If so how do you deal with that?

I never get dizzy, or worry much about heights, but I realize that my scaffold climbing days are numbered. I’m 67 now, and I feel that I’ve got another 7-8 years left in me. Of course, I could pay others to do that part of the job for me, but I haven’t wanted to give up that control yet.

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Is there a lot of work that goes in to maintaining the pieces so they are in their best condition? How often do you have to touch them up?

The lifespan of my installations varies, often with what part of the country they’re placed. Anywhere from 7 to 20 years. It’s the downside with working with plywood. It’s a cheap enough material that helps makes the murals affordable to clients. Some of the work I’ve created around Salinas I’ve totally re-done after 10 years, but the usual scenario is that they live out their life, and they then get removed and thrown away. I get the occasional graffiti, which I can repair in my area…and I get the occasional thieves who steal a figure, if they’re the life-sized cutouts. I’ve had three alien figures in a mural in Roswell, NM that have been stolen. What I’ll do is repaint them, and the next time I’m in the general area of Roswell, I’ll stop in and install the new one. The paint I work with is terrific, so there’s not really any ‘touching up’ that takes place. By the time the paint looks bad, the plywood has likely already lived out its life.

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Do you still do the occasional portrait or do you focus entirely on murals at this point in your career?

I still get the occasional portrait, but what happened during the pandemic year in 2020 was that I ended up painting 12-13 pet portraits. Businesses were afraid to spend money on ‘frill’ projects from me, so I had to hustle and hit up friends and family for small cutout paintings of their pets. I could attach them to a base and they could sit on a mantle or a desk. People portraits I do once in a while, but only for friends or family. I discourage that from the public, as I still want to concentrate on my public art.

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How does it feel to be able to earn a living doing something you love?

I’ve been doing this for so long now that I don’t often even give this question much thought. I do realize, however, that I’m in a small subset of artists who actually make a living at it. I’ve never had to feel the pressure of creating art and HOPING that it sells so I can pay the rent and feed myself. I don’t think that I set out to plan my career with the main objection to make money…two things conspired to make that happen. I work realistically, and early on, I placed my work out in the public. I guaranteed that I’d have a large audience, and that audience included marketing people and businesses. They saw my work and thought of ways themselves to boost their business…that, or the vanity type projects from folks with money.

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Do you enjoy being able to remind the public of the roadside art of yesterday through you work today? Why do you think we see less of that now than in the past?

When I think of roadside art of the past, I think more of the whimsical advertisements, like the Burma Shave placards that were erected every few hundred feet with catchy poetic lines, or the large barns with gigantic letters advertising chewing tobacco, or caverns down the road. There were the occasional farmers who would weld tractor parts into farm animals and place them alongside their property line next to a highway.

If there were artists who did what I do now, I’m not aware of it, but there certainly could have been. These sorts of installations don’t have a long life. I think the reason why other artists don’t work like I do is because it really isn’t profitable. I donate one or two of these highway installations a year, and besides the cost of the materials, my travel, and my time, one of these might amount to $20,000 in lost revenue and the cost out of my pocket. It’s just not an enticing proposal for an artist. I’m just fortunate enough to make enough money with my commissions to be able to switch gears and create these pet projects. I know, however, that I benefit by having the public see this side of my work and that it generates new work down the road. It’s like leaving a giant business card with every installation I create.

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What projects are you currently working on that we can all look forward to seeing next?

I’m leaving this next week for Memphis, TN to install two giant musical icons, Elvis Presley and Tina Turner. These are commissions from a client who has bought a couple of old buildings near downtown Memphis and is converting one of them into a playful concert setting, with a stage being built that I will place the two 18 feet tall plywood figures on top of, as if they are performing together. The client says that this part of Memphis has been in a state of blight for several years, so he wanted to add some sparkle to the area. I may return this fall to install a few more, including Aretha Franklin, who was born in Memphis. I will also paint a giant Glenn Miller, the Big Band leader, on the outskirts of his hometown of Clarinda, Iowa. That will be later this summer. Currently, I’m painting two giant race cars for the local race track, Laguna Seca in Monterey. I’ve painted 5 cars and a motorcycle for them over the last several years. Because of the pandemic, last year was slow as far as commissions, but it’s rapidly picking up. I’ll take advantage of that and save up for my next personal project. I have 3-4 of those in mind, but none are on the front burner.

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What do you hope the viewer takes away from your work?

My audience is the general public, not so much the high brow art connoisseur. I think I connect with my audience because my work is realistic and relatable. I’m a bit like Norman Rockwell in that I compose my scenes like a short story, with moments from everyday life. I’m always looking for a humorous angle. What I’m shooting for by having my work alongside highways is to present some public art for folks who may not visit an art gallery or museum this year, or rarely. They’re in their car simply getting from point A to point B, and they are likely thrown off by spotting these things off to the side of the road. I want that image to linger in their minds for several miles down the road. I am satisfied if they have been entertained on their journey.

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Is there anything you’d like to say in closing?

Hmmm…can’t think of anything of substance here…well, maybe this. I’ve been asked if it bothers me that once I’m dead and gone, and my work, which will have withered away shortly after I’m gone, that my career will only exist in photos and memories. My answer is no, since I don’t believe in an afterlife and it will be of no concern of mine how I’m thought of for generations and centuries to come. I’m content with maximizing my time on Earth and to ply my craft as long as I’m able.

An Interview with Filmmaker Kirby Warnock in Honor of the 25th Anniversary of “Return to Giant”

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James Dean and George Stevens on the set.

In the summer of 1955 the town of Marfa welcomed Hollywood to Texas. The film “Giantstarring James Dean, Elizabeth Taylor, and Rock Hudson left an indelible mark on the hearts and minds of generations of filmgoers around the world. In celebration of the 25th Anniversary of “Return to Giant” there will be a screening of the documentary at the location that welcomed the cast and crew of “Giant” during filming. The iconic Hotel Paisano will be hosting the event June 3, 2021 at 7 pm. I recently sat down with filmmaker Kirby Warnock to learn more about how the film came to be. 

Can you tell us a little about your earliest days in Texas? What are some of your most fond memories of that time? Why do you think it seems to make such a lasting impression on most people? 

I spent nearly three months out of every year out on our grandparents’ ranch near Fort Stockton. It’s only 84 miles from Marfa, so we were down there a lot. The best memories are the open spaces and getting to “play cowboy” in the 50’s and 60’s. We rode horses all day and had a great childhood.

What was it like to visit Marfa with your mother and brother back in 1957? What do you remember most about that particular trip?

My dad drove us out on the Evans ranch to see the remains of the Reata. Made a big impression on me because it was the only other 3-story building in the county, and it didn’t have a back. I thought part of it had burned down in a fire, but my mom said they used it to make the movie, “GIANT.” I thought it was about “the attack of the 50-foot man,” and didn’t see the film until 1972 or 73 when it was on NBC television.  Then that visit came rushing back to me. When Liz and Rock pull up in that car in front of the Reata I shouted, “I’ve been there!” (YouTube link to my dad’s home movies here: Giant Set, 1957  )

Why do you think the film Giant” seems to have had such an impact on the popular culture of our time? 

It represents Texas as we want it to be. Big, larger-than-life people in a big country, still holding onto that cowboy past in modern times.

What was it about it that led you to make a film about its filming?

I had heard stories out here from folks who remembered the 1955 location shoot. That was a big deal, because back then they didn’t make films about Texas IN Texas. “The Searchers” was shot in Monument Valley and all of the Roy Rogers westerns were shot in California, so “GIANT” looked like the west Texas I knew.

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Bob Hinkle and James Dean.

Are there any moments from the making of the documentary that stand out most in your mind?

Yes, Bob Hinkle recalling when he got the news that James Dean had died. Very emotional. You could tell he and Jimmy had grown very close during that shoot. They were already planning Dean’s next film, a biography of Billy the Kid, then it all ended suddenly. I also enjoyed Darlyne Freeman telling of when she and her girlfriends threw a Coke party for James Dean in Marfa. Fun stuff!

What were some of the challenges you faced in capturing everyones memories in film?

I couldn’t get Liz Taylor to talk to me. That was disappointing, but my understanding is that “GIANT” was not a particularly pleasant experience for her. She had just delivered a baby when MGM loaned her out to Warner Bros, so right after childbirth she had to go out to west Texas where it’s 100 degrees and in the middle of a 7-year drought. She also divorced her then-husband, Michael Wilding, during the shoot and started dating her new husband Mike Todd. It was a pretty rough emotional time for her, so I can see why she didn’t enjoy it. Who would want to talk about an unpleasant time in their life?

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James Dean with Edna Ferber.

Was there anything you were surprised to learn?

How amiable and approachable James Dean was. The Marfa town folk simply loved the guy. That surprised me because we all picture Dean as being brooding and moody, but everyone found him to be like one of them. It’s a stark contrast to his on-screen persona and the biographies about him that focus on his teen angst.

Do you have a particular interview in the piece that you hold most dear or do you value them equally?

I like Darlyne Freeman’s memories of the shoot. She was a majorette in the Marfa band at the time and got to perform for the cameras when Earl Holliman comes home from the war. Then she got to meet James Dean and hang out with Chill Wills and Monte Hale. It’s small-town Texas meets Hollywood, the stuff that dreams are made of.

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George Stevens Jr., Elizabeth Taylor, James Dean, and George Stevens.

Are your viewers surprised to see what Marfa was like before the artists took up residence there? How has it changed most since the summer of 1955? Do you think the town would have become as iconic as it is had it not been for the film Giant”? How do you think it changed the town most?

Marfa was a dying cattle town when we filmed the documentary back in 1996. The downtown was sitting empty, and there were no art galleries or trendy restaurants. It was more vibrant in 1955, but when we shot the doc, both movie theaters were out of business and the Hotel Paisano was sitting empty and abandoned. I think it would still be a draw because of “GIANT”, but now it is bustling with hipsters and artists. It’s odd, to me, but I’m not an art patron so I really don’t need to understand it. All I know is that Marfa is jumping now because of these changes.

What can attendees expect from the 25th Anniversary screening being held this coming June?

A chance to sit in the very same room where James Dean, Rock Hudson and Elizabeth Taylor used to eat dinner every night and watch people’s recollections of that time. To be in the spot where it all happened is pretty cool, in my opinion. We’ll probably have a few remaining folks from the 1955 shoot on hand, but most of them have passed on by now, which makes me sad. Mainly you’ll get to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and that’s the key word, an experience. It’s something you can’t get on Instagram or Facebook.

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James Dean and Rock Hudson.

When did you first know you wanted to be a filmmaker? Who were some of your earliest influences?

When I made this film back in 1996. I just wanted to tell a story. It worked out okay. I don’t know if I had any “influences” but I loved the movies that John Ford made. He knew how to tell a story.

What advice would you offer to other wishing to pursue a career in film?

Get a thick skin, because you will be told “no” a lot. Don’t let it bring you down. Persevere!

Is there anything youd like to say in closing?

I think it’s amazing that a film made more than 60 years ago (GIANT) still has reach and influence today. Not many movies can say that. It’s also inspired other works, like “Fandango”, and “Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean.” I hope our documentary, “Return to Giant”, gives folks a snapshot of why “GIANT” still has a hold on us, and why it meant so much to the town folks of Marfa, all these years later. It truly was a unique location shoot. I can’t think of any other movie that enmeshed the locals in it as much as this one, and that’s really special.

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For more information about the upcoming event and to purchase tickets please see:  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/return-to-giant-25th-anniversary-screenng-tickets-150032909471           

For more information on Hotel Paisano please see: https://hotelpaisano.com/

All images used under permission from CMG Worldwide. 

“Stone” by Phillip Shabazz

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 STONE

From an old cage, old grave where dew
diminishes the base of a statue, you break out
from the stone again. Inside the hour and a chance
for snow to deepen the air on this day,
you wear the sun’s calm face. Your eyes eat away
the haze where a December sky begins. It never ends
how the future grows gray in the hair,
and the past draws gifts. You linger
and look to a tree Christmas enough to light a god.
Brush away the rubble on your bare feet.
Off your shoulder, rocks fall like bells
swallowed by silence. The day unburies you.
Outside the dark shelter in a yard, the overseer of night
once sized you up—blues from which
your body was made to dwell inside the stone.
Weather its labyrinth of trenches and underpasses.
What bones bent in you turned discolored,
cave-coarse and yoked as a neck
could be beneath stone. So many songs,
caroling outside the door. The tidings
of red poinsettia and music carry the festive
ties up to where full voices mark
your need to empty yourself and be whole:
hand and heart remembered once more
and still here.

Phillip Shabazz is the author of three poetry collections, and a novel in verse. His poetry has been included in the anthologies, Literary Trails of the North Carolina Piedmont: A Guidebook, and Home Is Where: African-American Poetry from the Carolinas. Some previous publication credits in journals include, Across the Margin, Fine Lines, Galway Review, Hamilton Stone Review, Ham Lit, Impossible Task, ImpSpired, Obsidian, On The Seawall, and Louisville Review.

An Interview with Actor/Singer Ben Tinsley

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Texas native, actor Ben Tinsley recently appeared in the film Amaraica: They Lost Our Baby, which is slated for release on HBO in September 2021. The dramatic film takes a fictionalized closer look at the immigration system in America today.

What was it like growing up in Fort Worth when you did?

It was a different, much smaller, area in the 1970s.. But to many Texans at the time, it was still a “big city.” The fat stock show and rodeo were bigger than life. Journalism was still relevant. Disco was cool. The Texas Boys Choir had a huge, tall, sign that you could see from blocks away. Pancho’s All You Can Eat Mexican Food Buffet was still by Westcliff. The Colonial Golf Tournament was in full effect.

What are some of your most fond memories of those days?

Mayfest..and Octoberfest…and the stock show rodeo. Casa Manana being the premiere theater in town…Downtown comvention center programs…”A Place Called Christmas,” where we practiced and performed when I was in the Texas Boys Choir….The Littlest Wiseman, also a TBC-related Christmas annual production at Scott Theatre. And .. my best friend (to this day) Shane Danger and I driving up and down Camp Bowie looking for trouble.

How have things in Fort Worth changed most since then?

Everything. Everything has changed. Merry Go Round Hamburgers on Berry, where I had my first job at age 14? Gone. Sound Warehouse on Berry, where I worked and helped provide security for the rock band Ratt at age 19? Gone. The old Charlie Rose show on KXAS, where I performed with the Texas Boys Choir at age 11? Where we saw George Hamilton (dressed like Dracula to promote Love At First Bite) slide into a limo coming out of Charlie Rose’s studio? GONE. The old Star-Telegram office, where me and my sister hung out at as kids watching our Dad work? Where we also ended up working? GONE.

You grew up with both parents as journalists. What was that like?

I never got away with anything.

What would say is the most important thing you learned from them?

“Listen to your parents.”

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Actor Ben Tinsley, right, hit the red carpet in October with colleague Jacky Chao, left, director of the superhero film “Jackman.” The film was viewed at the “Press Play” film festival at the Angelika Theatre in Dallas. Tinsley was cast as “Professor Boa.”

As someone who has worked as a journalist, singer, actor, and dancer do you enjoy any one of those more than the other?

Music and acting are eternal. There is no one good way to approach either. There are many equally brilliant interpretations. These are the mysteries I enjoy chasing the most. As far as journalism? You never stop being a writer and you never stop asking questions.

Do you ever miss doing all of that since you decided to focus on acting and singing.

No. Not even a little bit.

Who were some your earliest influences when it comes to the world of acting? 

In addition to being a journalist, my Mom was also an actor at Casa Manana when I was a kid. Additionally, she was a literature professor. So. Mom would read a lot of Shakespeare to my very young sister and I, and show us televised performances of Elizabethan masterpieces such as Hamlet.

I was a big fan of Sir Lawrence Olivier because he CRUSHED IT as Hamlet. I always felt Kenneth Branaugh..was Olivier’s spiritual successor.

When Eddie Murphy hit stardom on Saturday Night Live during the 80s, I became a student of his from afar.Eddie Murphy has this comedic brilliance that has always blown me away. The fact that we were nearly the same age gave me hope I could one day be a performer.

MTV in the 1980s really sparked my creative and dramatic imagination. Both my actor’s mind and my writer’s mind.. There was a lot of interesting things going on in those videos.

My Dad was in a movie titled The 4-D Man. Way back in the day. He was never comfortable talking to me about it. But I tracked down the footage after he died. Pretty awesome stuff, really. 

It is important to note that my parents preceded me into both journalism and acting. My mom and I have both created, filmed and published our own documentaries. Our own movies.

Probably my hugest acting influence is Patty McCormick and her husband Dr. Leonard McCormick. I met them in 1986 at Tarrant County Junior.College South Campus when I was still a private in the Texas Army National Guard on the GI Bill.

That was ground zero for my true acting learning. A lot about Stanislavky. And exposure to the acting brilliance of my classmates Sean Matthews, Jim Cain, and Rodney Honeycutt. Among many others. Dennis Cainright. Charley Rubey.

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Ben Tinsley, left, is seen here alongside director Mark Rios during a scene from the mob movie “A Family Thing,” now avail on Amazon Prime.

What was it about their work that made you want to do pursue the craft yourself?

It was the magic they all wielded. I wanted it. I wanted nothing more than to be as fearless and powerful as they were and still are.

What was it like to film parts of Amaraica: They Lost Our Baby in the actual law office of Immigration Attorney Francisco Hernandez? Did your relationship with him come in handy when preparing for the role of an attorney yourself?

Apparently, there were some communication wires mixed up in regard to our using the office that day. Not really sure what happened.

But Francisco and I go way… back. Like, to 1985. He’s my brother from another mother. So when he realized I was part of this production, he felt a lot better about letting his office be used.

After that, the scenes were filmed without a hitch.

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Ben Tinsley, center, host of the Texas Newsroom show on Power Play radio in Dallas, discusses “Amaraica,” with its architect, visionary director Tim Sparks, and with immigration attorney Francisco Hernandez.

What are your feelings on the current Immigration system in the United States? In what ways would you most like to see it improved?

ICE must go.

ICE has become a symbol of terror and fear in the Latin community.

Babies taken away from mothers, involuntary sterilizations. ICE officers posing as cops and deporting all Latin-looking people they can get their hands on — even folks with the legal right to stay here.

ICE should be disbanded and replaced with a less political, less Third Reich-oriented, agency.

And every member of ICE who violated human rights under the Trump administration needs to be prosecuted.

What can our readers expect from the film?

An awesome, sad, and fascinating glimpse at a very real problem through the eyes, or camera lens, of visionary filmmaker Tim Sparks. And some amazing acting from everyone.

Athena Hayes and Ben Tinsley as police homicide detectives in “Never Odd Or Even.” (2019) Filmed in Nacogdoches.

Are you excited about it being picked up by HBO Max? When can we expect to be able to watch it there?

Tim says by September of next year. It has, I believe, already played in the Fort Worth-centric film festival. It won “Best Feature” in the New York Latino Film Festival. All because of Tim.

Do you have any interesting stories from the set you might at liberty to share with our readers?

Francisco was very dismayed to see that my Immigration lawyer character ate so many powdered donuts while sitting at his desk. (laughs)

He’s actually sent out advisories telling friends and colleagues the donuts were not his.

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Ben Tinsley and Shane Danger, friends since age 9, recently helmed the “Storage Flippers” proof of concept Reality TV show pilot.

What was it like to be part of a film that was filmed in your hometown?

It was awesome. Texas cities need to provide more tax incentives for movies to be filmed in the Lone Star state. Texas scenery looks so amazing in movies!

What do you hope the viewer takes away from this particular film?

A sense of empathy with this problem and possibly even a feeling of responsibility to help end it.

What projects are you looking forward to working on next?

I’m using the Nic Cage method: As many as possible.

Is there anything you’d like to say in closing? 

It took me 30 years as a college-degreed news reporter to admit to myself, what I REALLY wanted to do was be a full-time film actor. 

So that’s what I became. It’s never too late to change course.

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An Interview with Buck Dharma of Blue Oyster Cult

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Formed in Stony Brook, NY in 1967 Blue Oyster Cult is best known for hits like (Don’t Fear) The Reaper, Godzilla, and Burnin’ for You. With over 25 million records sold to date they have established themselves as one of the most iconic bands of our time. I recently sat down with Buck Dharma to learn a little more about the October 9, 2020 release of their long-awaited album, The Symbol Remains available on CD/LP/Limited Edition Color LP/Digital.

What was it like growing up on Long Island when you did? How did your father being a jazz musician affect your love of music early on?

Long Island was great in the ’60’s. With the exception of the Vietnam war, and political assassinations, things were pretty good for young people and the country. My dad turned me on to a lot of his music, the big bands and the cool school jazz combos. I saw a few of those artists live, Chet Baker and Maynard Ferguson. Horn players made an impression on my lead guitar style. It’s funny my dad never really “got” rock and roll, although he got comfortable with contemporary pop music eventually.

Are there any moments from the course of your career that stand out most in your mind today?

It’s almost a blur but every rung of the career ladder was a thrill. I got to see much of the world I otherwise would not have. I met a lot of great people from all over. Musically, we did great performances in every place, from clubs to stadiums. Seeing England in the early ’70’s was great, it still had a lot of the vibe of Hard Day’s Night.

Why do you think some of your most popular songs have become timeless? How does it feel to see them still being enjoyed by fans of all ages?

I don’t know why the songs that have endured did so. I guess they resonate with the mass consciousness. I’m gratified that they did.

How have you evolved as a musician since your earliest days? Do you feel grateful to still be doing what you love?

Sure, as a musician, I appreciate melody more than ever, and sentiment. Yes, I’m happy to play and sing as long as I can do it well. When it’s time to stop, I will. 

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What advice would you offer the musicians of tomorrow?

Do what you love doing, no matter what it is. You have to work hard, so you might as well enjoy your job. Creating music, try and stand out from others. Make your own way.

What can fans expect from The Symbol Remains? What did you enjoy most about this album?

Symbol is BOC 2020. The 14 songs are wide ranging in style and sound. I’m proud of how good it sounds and how good the playing is.

What do you think is key to a life well lived?

Surround yourself with people that want the best for you, and reciprocate.

What are your personal feelings on life and death and what comes after? How do you hope to be remembered when your time comes?

Luckily, I have recordings that will be my legacy. I’m good on that score. I would like to think there is more out there than meets our eyes. I will leave this world curious about what’s next. 

Is there anything you’d like to say in closing?

Dear Readers: Since there’s no radio for new records from legacy artists, give The Symbol Remains a listen on YouTube or streaming services. I think you’ll like it.

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A New Interview with John Lehr

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John Lehr is best known for his work on the series’ Quickdraw, 10 Items or Less, Jailbait, and Jesse. During the recent pandemic he starred alongside Joseph D. Reitman in the film Coronavirus Conspiracy.

How have you and the family been passing time during the Pandemic? What are some of the most challenging issues you have faced during this time?

Basically, the wheels have totally come off the wagon at the Lehr household. I’d like to say we held it together for a bit at the start of the pandemic but honestly, we have been running around panicked with our hair on fire from day one. I’m surprised we are all still fed and have clean clothes. The kids are in computer school which is a nightmare. I dream about the days when I could dump them at school for a few hours of peace. My home office has a connecting door to my boy’s bedroom. It’s like having the most annoying, snooping co-worker of all time. He’s constantly (and by constantly, I mean well over 100 times a day) barging into my office to “chat” or see “what’s up” or wondering “what I’m working on.” If this were a real workplace I would have reported him to HR a long time ago. Instead, I have to love him, hug him or feed him depending. 

What would you say is the most important thing you have learned from this strange year?

Being a recovering addict/alcoholic, my fallback position is hard wired to be a cynical glass half empty point of view (unless it is half full of bourbon of course) but I have to say I have some genuine gratitude that I didn’t see coming in all of this. There is no doubt this is a horrible time and the forecasts don’t look great but most of the people around me have found some good things to come from this nightmare as well. I am spending more time with my family (which is mostly a good thing) and the shutdown of the entertainment industry has forced me to take a step back and look at the lay of the land. I’m not stopping to smell the roses but I am walking a bit more slowly when I pass them. 

How do you think the Pandemic has affected the film and television industry most? Do you think it will ever fully recover from this year?

The pandemic makes something that is already hard to do… even harder. I don’t know if movies as we know it will be back the way they were, but what do I know. As to shooting, I just worked on a film that worked under the covid protocols and it was definitely different — smaller crew footprint, daily tests, mask enforcement but MOST importantly — no craft services (snacks)! WTF?! It’s always cracked me up that the entertainment industry is the only business I know of that requires snacks at all times. Don’t get me wrong — I love trail mix as much as anyone, but now I’m discovering I can act without it!

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What was it like working with Joseph Reitman on Coronavirus Conspiracy?

Joe is a really talented actor and I learned a ton. As you know my background is improv and Coronavirus Conspiracy was a legit scripted feature with only two characters so it was a huge challenge for me. I know Joe from the Geico caveman days and was thrilled to work with him again. I’m also a fan of his work. He was a total pro — as ready to rehearse and work but fun and receptive as well. Since we were in every scene we had to get the script DOWN almost like a play. I’ve seen a rough cut and he kills in this film. I can’t wait for people to see it.

How did the two of you first meet?

Joe and I met on the set of one of the first Geico Caveman commercial shoots. We were both already in makeup so I had to google him up to see what he looked like. We’ve stayed in touch over the years and I became a fan of his work. When I found out he was co-starring in Safer at Home, I was in 100%.

Can you tell our readers a little about the film and what to expect from it?

It takes place during covid back in March when the lockdown was first underway. At the start, my character wakes up in his bedroom (or rather he thinks it is his bedroom) after heading out to the grocery store for toilet paper and finds himself chained to the wall. And things get weird from there. I sort of describe it as Waiting for Godot meets Brazil.

When is it expected to be released and where will we be able to find it?

That I don’t know. There is a facebook page and I know there is a rough cut already because I’ve seen it! I think the producers have it on the fast track since it is set during covid.

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Did it feel good to just be working during such times as these?

Oh hell yes. So many communities and industries have been hit so hard and Hollywood is one of them. I know crew people and actors who have had nothing since March. It’s really tough on families. I was nervous about shooting during covid of course but I think the unions and industry have done a good job with the covid protocols. I’ve been doing a lot of comedy on zoom (particularly my Cold Sober Comedy show) but there ain’t nothing like being on a set.

Do you think Hulu will ever bring back Quick Draw for a third season? Do you miss working on that?

You never know but there has been no indication that they are looking to bring Quickdraw back. Man that was a fun show. The good news is we all knew it was a special time while we were making it. Everyone had a blast and we all have stayed in touch — mainly because the fans refuse to let it die. I will tell you this: Nancy Hower and I have a feature script ready to go!

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What other projects are you looking forward to working on when all of this has passed?

I just finished acting in pilot and am producing another pilot I hope to pitch in the new year. I’m getting ready to pitch a show now but I’m not writing that one. I’ve been performing on zoom a lot. I’m doing a zoom version of my “comedic lecture” solo show which I am calling Social Distance Learning with John Lehr. Like my live show, I discuss my recovery in a humorous yet meaningful way and have added interactive elements that people seem to like. 

What do you think is key to a life well lived?

Help others.

Is there anything you’d like to say in closing?

I’m shooting an improv based project with Bob Clendenin in mid-November!

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An Interview with & the Art of Frederick Cooper

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Artist Frederick Cooper produces some of the most vivid portraits in traditional and digital format. Fans of his work know his work heavily features the horror icons of yesterday. 2020 saw the release of his long-awaited book, Vereor Nox: The Monster Art of Frederick Cooper, which features 152 pages of his most beloved works of art.

What was it about horror films that first sparked your interest early on?

Really now, why does anyone like anything? It’s difficult to know how it spoke to me. I suppose it was initially my brothers making it a part of my life but really I thankfully grew up in one of the most creative periods of the horror genre but I owe my interest to that the most. The atmosphere, the feeling it gave even after reading it, it was all electric. I would find old time radio shows to listen to like Arch Oboler’s Light’s Out and it was magical. Most everything of the genre was drenched in creativity and character.

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What do you remember most about seeing the films with your brothers at an early age? Do you remember what you very first memory of the genre is?

My first memory is definitely both of my brothers all excited. I love them. I was the youngest of the boys in my family and so they were my touchstone towards knowing what’s cool in life. They were interested in sharing too, which in retrospect is really the sweetest thing. They were always eager to show me how cool this stuff was and I knew that if they were excited I definitely need to be involved.

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You have said brother also first taught you about drawing. Do you think you would be doing what you are today if not for the early influence of family?

I’m…pausing because I don’t really know how to answer that one. Art was my focus from a very early age so I don’t know what other path I would have taken at all, or if I’d be on the same path at all. I will say for sure that without my brother Curtis I would not be the artist I am today. He was the first to get me on the artistic path and was my first teacher. More than anything he wouldn’t stop me from doing mistakes my own way. Really that is the only way you can learn.

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What were some of the most challenging issues you faced in learning to create your art?

Mostly finding time to experiment! My techniques are the result of decades of long nights doing trial and error. It’s one thing to practice to improve but something altogether different to support myself and a family with the same thing I’m still practicing. Regardless, you need to always find the time to practice. We all know what looks good and what doesnt in our work. The hard part is knowing when to admit an error and redo. Being able to constantly redo something until it feels right is I think the biggest barrier to professional art but once you get it there is no better feeling.

What advice would you offer others wishing to pursue a career in the field?

You should always pursue what you love. It’s only through love that you can enjoy constantly working to improve what you spend your life doing so always put your love first.

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Why do you think people have always been fascinated by monsters of all sorts?

Monsters tend to characterize aspects of our lives that the world rarely touches on. They characterize an aspect of the human condition that awakens our curiosity and makes us want to understand our own feelings towards it.

What do you personally love about the idea of monsters most?

Mostly what I just said, actually. That and they look totally interesting all the time. There’s nothing complex about just being fun to draw. It’s a lot of nostalgia there. Deep down inside I’m still the grinning 10 year old watching Frankenstein’s monster lumber his way though the graveyard.

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How did the book Vereor Nox come about? What is it like to be able to hold an artbook featuring your works?

Well I began working independently with this art over two years ago now, The idea of getting a book started was done in response; it’d get my name out there more and also taken more seriously. In the time I’ve received a wonderful amount of love from people all over the world and people I never dreamed would contact me. It’s been a humbling experience. Except for when I first got the book in my hands. That wasn’t humbling at all, I was bouncing off the walls.

How did you decide which images to feature on its pages?

We actually went through a lot of structural changes. I spent days just moving pages around. Eventually just arranging them by monster seemed the most coherent theme to do.

Have you found yourself being more creative than normal during the Pandemic?

No. Not in the least. I tend to cloister myself away to work anyway so the government telling me to stay cloistered away didn’t change my work at all. The pandemic was just a source of headaches. My wife and kids were all essential during the quarantine so there was always stress about their safety. Grocery shopping became closer to a dungeon raid with all the prep work it required. On top of that it there was the slow realization that I would have to delay all of my large plans: The book would have to be delayed, which was terrible. We also had intention to move so I could have a larger place to work but that didn’t pan out either. With the book out now I’m hoping things can recover enough for us to move safely soon.

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Having gotten back to painting is there anything you’ve realized you had missed about it?

Yes and no. It’s all just drawing so it’s not much different from what I do now. The techniques aren’t the draw as much as the materials though, which I do enjoy. Working in oils helps with blending immensely. I always enjoy that.

How does your work in paint differ most from your other methods? Do you enjoy one more than the other?

Besides the materials and their unique strengths, not really. I just enjoy the creative process. The only real difference is the amount of prep work involved in painting.

Is there anything else you’d like to add to our interview?

I would like to thank all my wonderful Facebook & Instagram friends, patrons and family for liking, sharing and promoting my art and pages. Your support & motivation along with your comments, suggestions and ideas have definitely motivated me to be a better artist. I am truly thankful.

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An Interview with Leslie Jordan

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Leslie Jordan has delighted audiences worldwide with his work in television and film. Best known for his work on iconic shows such as American Dad, Sordid Lives, Desperate Housewives, American Horror Story: The Coven, Will & Grace, and The Cool Kids to name a few, he set the internet on fire during the Pandemic of 2020 becoming an overnight sensation with his eclectic Instagram posts. It was recently announced that he will also appear in the upcoming sitcom Call Me Kat, alongside Mayim Bialik, Swoosie Kurtz, Kyla Pratt and Cheyenne Jackson. Leslie is currently writing his autobiography for Harper/Collins. I would like to sincerely thank him for giving of his time to do this interview while being so busy with those projects.

(Author’s note: This interview was conducted before the series Call Me Kat begun filming.)

What was it like growing up with two sisters? What are some of your most fond memories of those days? What would you say is the most important thing you learned from them?

I have twin sisters who are 22 months younger than me.  We are so close in age and looks we are mistaken for triplets but we aren’t. When they were born, my dad was in the service and we lived in Germany.  When they brought them home from the hospital, my mom and dad made a big fuss, “Oh look, Leslie!  You have two baby sisters.”  I was not impressed.  I had been the big deal around in this household and I think I innately knew, I now had some competition.  I said very sternly, “Take them back to the horse-pital (hospital!)!!” When we were growing up, I played a lot by myself as my sisters had each other.  There is a bond with twins that is very special.  But as we have gotten older (I am 65 now and they are 63) we have gotten so much closer.  We all have a wonderful relationship.

How did it feel when the entire world took notice of your Instagram posts during the Pandemic? Do you feel blessed to be able to offer people some much needed hope and distraction during such trying times?

When the shelter-in-place edict happened, I was in Chattanooga, Tennessee with my family.  I had a lot of time on my hands, as we all did, so I began writing funny Instagrams.  A friend called me from California and said, “You’ve gone viral!”  I told him, “No, honey, I am fine.  I am here in Tennessee with my family.”  I thought he meant I had the Coronavirus! The beauty of all my Instagram success (5.5 million followers) is that so many people come up to me in person and thank me for getting them through some really rough times.  That means so much to me. 

Do you think the Pandemic will have a lasting impact on the way the entertainment industry of tomorrow operates?

 I think the precautions that the Entertainment Industry is starting to take, testing three times a week, required masks, no food on set, no drinks on set, a whole department dedicated to Covid safety, will become the new norm.  That is until a proven vaccine is discovered.  And I’m not sure that is going to be anytime soon.  So, I for one am just going to follow the programs set up.

Are you excited to start filming Call Me Kat? Is it still set to film in Louisville, KY? Does it feel good to finally be able to get back to work?

The beautiful part about my new series, CALL ME KAT, is the way the cast, and we have yet to meet face to face, has bonded virtually.  We have had ZOOM table reads for the first three episodes and that started our virtual love fest.  I think this is a show that will run a long time.  And this is a cast that will get along fabulously.  I can already tell.  And, Lord knows, I have worked over the years on some shows that were stinkers and casts that did not get along.  That is pure hell, trust me.

What emotions have you experienced in penning your autobiography for Harper/Collins? Is there a certain amount of freedom to be found in being able to tell your story, your way?

I think writing is the most cathartic thing a person can do. It slows your mind “down to the speed of a pen” and you get clarity. I am always a little amazed at what a great life I have had. And the ability to write about it is God-given and I cherish that ability.

Is there anything you’d like to say in closing?

I just want to thank all my friends on Instagram for the love and support.  And I want them to know they had a big part in my getting a book deal.  I hope they enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.  

Love.  Light.   Leslie

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For Rolf Wütherich an Interview with his Son, Bernd

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Rudolf Karl Wütherich is best known for being the last passenger of James Dean. Long before that fateful evening, September 30, 1955, Rolf had proven himself to be a man of many talents. While in the military he served as a Luftwaffe glider pilot, paratrooper, and an aircraft mechanic. After his time in service he went on to work in the Daimler-Benz (Mercedes) factory racing department before going on to become the second employee at the Porsche racing department where he worked as a factory team member at countless races before being sent by the factory to the United States in April, 1955 to work as a field engineer. He went on to meet James Dean at the Bakersfield races later that year. While much is known about the events that came later, there is little know about Rolf himself. To find a little more about who he was as an individual we sat down with his son, Bernd as he recalls what his father was like.

(Author’s note: This interview was written in English, on September 30, 2020 while visiting Fairmount, Indiana, and answered in German. I have included both versions.)

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What are some of your earliest memories of your father?

My first memory concerns a day when I was about 4 years old. I no longer knew exactly whether my parents were divorced or were close.

There were three of us in his Porsche. In front, of course, my parents, and I in the middle in the back. Suddenly I see my father trying to take my mother’s hand. He didn’t want to lose my mother. But she didn’t return the gesture and pushed his hand aside. At that moment I understood that there was nothing to be done: their marriage was over. My father understood it too, he didn’t say another word. There was no turning back.

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Are there any things about him that stand out most clearly in your mind today?

When I think of him today, he always seems like a lonely figure.

He was very rarely funny. He was often in a bad mood, and that sometimes scared me when we met briefly. I think he was very sensitive and introverted. But, basically he was also very sad and melancholy. I didn’t know then – in the 1960’s – that he was suffering from depression, and as it was later explained, shortly after the accident with James Dean.

But my father was also very ironic, and at his best he was a good buddy to joke with. He was very dynamic; he could work on a car for hours. When it came to his job, he could also be very, ambitious. He knew how good he was.

What was he like as a father?

When my parents were together, I was little and my father was almost never home. In any case, fatherhood was not his priority. That applied to the cars and the engines. I only know that he was very proud of me, like most fathers were with their sons. Unfortunately, we rarely saw each other. When I went to Italy when I was 10, our contacts became even less frequent. I might have met him five or six times in the 1970’s. Every time he stopped by his parents, whom I was with on vacation, and took me with him. He tried his best to speak to me, but I was terrified of his outbursts and I was also uncomfortable with his presence.

We saw each other too little, too far apart, and so we could never really got closer. I wanted to make up for everything when I got bigger, but I didn’t have time after he died so early.

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Did he ever speak of what it was like growing up in Germany when he did?

Unfortunately, my father never spoke to me about his childhood.

Did he ever mention what it was like for him coming from Germany to the United States?

He also never spoke to me about his stay in the States or his impressions.

Are there any memories from his life that he shared with you that have stuck with you?

When I was little he went to visit his friend Eugen Böhringer with me, with whom he finished second in the 1965 rally in Montecarlo. At that time, I noticed how important friends were to him. He always respected his friends, especially because most racing drivers were like him, and he knew how easy it was to die back then. Most of all, he suffered from the death of Günter Klass in a race in Florence. They had driven several races together, especially the 1966 Montecarlo Rally. My grandfather, my father’s father, and I went to the Klass ‘funeral at that time. My father couldn’t be there. But, as I said, we didn’t talk to each other much. And he never told me stories from his life. To get to know him better, I looked through his photos at my grandparents’ house. Almost like a boy scout, I searched for his tracks. I never had the courage to ask him questions.

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What would you say is the most important thing you learned from him?

The most important thing I learned from him was honesty He was almost too honest, he always said what he thought. And sometimes that wasn’t wanted. He was always sincere and loyal to his friends. I kept this attitude. He was also very generous. And once, shortly before his death, he wrote me a letter. Where he always advised me to think with my own head and never let others distract me from my goal. Yes, he was ambitious and stubborn too, he often wanted his head through the wall. And yes, I’m a little bit like that, I hardly let anyone talk me out of what I’m convinced of.

What do you admire about him most?

My father had courage in every way. At the age of seventeen he went into the Second World War, at a time when the Nazis had already lost the war. He was a parachutist and that took courage. And when it came to going to America, he took the opportunity to broaden his horizons. Maybe he was sent to the USA by Porsche because he was the only bachelor. They got married early in the 1950’s and all the other Porsche mechanics already had a wife and children. My father was a dreamer, he always wanted to leave, no matter where. He was curious and had no pre-stress. He read Raymond Chandler and dreamed of this wide country with the big cities. Even then it was too tight in Stuttgart. He wanted to go around the world. And of course, I admire his talent as a mechanic etc. Racing driver. He was born for engines. He only needed to hear an engine to know immediately what was wrong. He was a blessed mechanic. With motors he had the same relationship as an artist with his canvas. And he could make an entire car from nothing, including the body. He was just the best.

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What would you say were some of his most positive traits?

I already mentioned it. He was extremely talented and worked hard for hours. Far from his job, he was very charming and he knew how to have fun. He could also be very deep and sensitive. He thought a lot and I often saw dark shadows on his face. When he started brooding, he usually became sad and pessimistic. But this is another story.

In reality he was shy, he never forgot where he came from: a small German provincial town. I am of course referring to his place of birth, Heilbronn, where he lived in his childhood and youth and before his family moved to Stuttgart.

Is there anything in particular you’d like the world to know about him?

All of my father’s friends always said there was a Rolf  before the accident with James Dean and a Rolf after the accident. The accident has transformed him mentally and physically. My father could never really deal with this bad experience. After the accident he was hated and beaten up by some of the Dean fans. He felt so complicit in Dean’s death, even though he wasn’t to blame. I think his best time was between 1960 and 1965. It was in 1960 when he met my mother at Porsche, she married and after a short time also had a son from her. During this time he also had his greatest sporting success. At that time he was in control of his life again. But after the divorce from my mother, he lost his balance and had problems again.

But he was a loyal person, he was always ready when a friend needed him. He was obsessed with engines and when he went to America he had a bright future in sight. Unfortunately, it turned out differently: the accident would be decisive for the rest of his life; he became self-destructive over time, as well as destroying his best relationships.

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How would you like the world to remember him?

I cannot say. My father was not a public figure. To judge him you have to have known him. Otherwise it is just fantasies. It would be enough for me if people remembered him as an exceptional mechanic, a talented racing driver, a good friend and a sensitive person. But, frankly, I think very few people remember my father. Time takes away all memories. And I think the world doesn’t worry about my father. And maybe it’s better that way.

Is there anything you’d like to say in closing?

My father died at the age of 53. I was just 20. Today I am older than my father, and over time I have understood many things better. We never had a really mature dialogue. We didn’t have the time.

I already mentioned it: I miss him, I wanted to get to know him better and spend more time with him.

In the last years he had been alone. And that still hurts me a lot.

Maybe I could have helped him, probably not. But it would have been nice to see him one last time.

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Rudolph Karl Wutherich ist bekannt als letzter Passagier von James Dean. Lange vor diesem schicksalhaften Abend, dem 30. September 1955, hatte sich Rolf als ein Mann mit vielen Talenten erwiesen. Während seiner Militärzeit diente er als Luftwaffen-Segelflugzeugpilot, Fallschirmjäger und Flugzeugmechaniker. Nach seiner Dienstzeit arbeitete er in der Werksrennabteilung von Daimler-Benz (Mercedes), bevor er als zweiter Mitarbeiter in der Porsche-Rennabteilung arbeitete, wo er als Mitglied des Werksteams bei unzähligen Rennen arbeitete, bevor er von der Fabrik in die Vereinigten Staaten im April 1955, um als Feldingenieur zu arbeiten. Später in diesem Jahr traf er James Dean bei den Bakersfield-Rennen. Während viel über die Ereignisse bekannt ist, die später kamen, ist wenig über Rolf selbst bekannt. Um ein bisschen mehr darüber herauszufinden, wer er als Individuum war, setzten wir uns mit seinem Sohn Bernd zusammen, der sich daran erinnert, wie sein Vater war.

Was sind einige Ihrer frühesten Erinnerungen an Ihren Vater?

Meine erste Erinnerung betrifft einen Tag an dem ich ungefähr 4 wahr. Ich weiss nicht mehr genau ob meine Eltern schon geschieden waren oder nahe dran waren.
Wir waren zu dritt in seinem Porsche. Vorne natürlich meine Eltern, und ich hinten in der Mitte. Auf einmal sehe ich wie mein Vater versucht die Hand meiner Mutter zu nehmen. Er wollte meine Mutter nicht verlieren. Aber sie erwiderte die Geste nicht und schob seine Hand beiseite. In diesem Moment verstand ich, dass da nichts mehr zumachen war: Ihre Ehe war aus. Mein Vater verstand es auch, er sagte kein Wort mehr. Es gab kein zurück mehr.

Gibt es Dinge an ihm, die Ihnen heute am deutlichsten auffallen?

Wenn ich heute an ihn denke, kommt er mir immer wie eine einsame Figur vor.
Er war sehr selten lustig. Oft war er schlechter Laune, und das machte mir manchmal Angst als wir uns mal kurz sahen. Ich glaube er war sehr sensibel und introvertiert.
Aber im Grunde genommen war er auch sehr traurig und melancholisch. Ich wusste damals – in den Sechzigerjahren – nicht dass er an Depressionen litt, und wie man mir später erklärte, das schon kurz nach dem Unfall mit James Dean.
Aber mein Vater war auch sehr ironisch, und in seinen besten Zeiten war er ein guter Kumpel mit dem man auch scherzen konnte.
Und er war sehr dynamisch; er konnte stundenlang an einem Wagen arbeiten. Was seinen Beruf betraf, konnte er auch sehr ehrgeizig sein. Er wusste wie gut er war.

Wie war er als Vater?

Als meine Eltern noch zusammen waren, war ich noch klein und mein Vater war fast nie Zuhause. Auf jeden Fall war die Vaterschaft nicht seine Priorität. Die galt den Autos und den Motoren. Ich weiss nur dass er sehr stolz auf mich war, wie die meisten Väter mit ihren Söhnen. Leider sahen wir uns selten. Als ich mit 10 nach Italien ging, wurden unsere Kontakte noch seltener. In den Siebzigerjahre bin ich ihmvielleicht  fünf- oder sechsmal begegnet. Jedesmal kam er bei seinen Eltern vorbei, bei denen ich während den Ferien war, und nahm mich mit. Er versuchte sein Bestes um mit mir zu sprechen, aber ich hatte wahnsinnig Angst vor seinen Wutausbrüchen, und zudem fühlte ich mich nicht wohl in seiner Präsenz.
Wir sahen uns zu wenig, mit zu großen Abständen, und so konnten wir uns nie richtig näher kommen. Ich wollte alles nachholen wenn ich mal größer wurde, aber dazu blieb mir keine Zeit nach dem er so früh starb.

Hat er jemals darüber gesprochen, wie es war, in Deutschland aufzuwachsen, als er es tat?

Leider hat mein Vater nie mit mir über seine Kindheit gesprochen.

Hat er jemals erwähnt, wie es für ihn war, aus Deutschland in die USA zu kommen?

Auch über seinen Aufenthalt in den States und seine Eindrücke hat er mit mir nie gesprochen.

Gibt es irgendwelche Erinnerungen aus seinem Leben, die er mit Ihnen geteilt hat und die bei Ihnen geblieben sind?

 Als ich noch klein war besuchte er mit mir seinen Freund Eugen Böhringer, mit dem er 1965 bei der Rally von Montecarlo Zweiter wurde. Ich merkte damals wie wichtig für ihn die Freunde waren. Er hat seine Freunde immer respektiert, vor Allem weil die meisten Rennfahrer waren wie er, und er wusste wie leicht man damals sterben konnte. Vor Allem litt er unter dem Tod von Günter Klass bei einem Rennen in Florenz.

Sie hatten mehrere Rennen gemeinsam gefahren, vor Allem die Rally von Montecarlo 1966. Mein Großvater, Vater meines Vaters, und ich gingen damals zu Klass‘ Beerdigung. Mein Vater konnte nicht dabei sein. 

Aber, wie gesagt, wir sprachen nicht viel miteinander. Und er hat mir nie Geschichten aus seinem Leben erzählt. Um ihn besser zu kennen, durchsuchte ich seine Fotos bei meinen Großeltern. Fast wie ein Pfadfinder suchte ich nach seinen Spuren. Ich habe nie den Mut gehabt ihm Fragen zu stellen.

Was ist Ihrer Meinung nach das Wichtigste, was Sie von ihm gelernt haben?

Das Wichtigste was ich von ihm gelernt habe ist Ehrlichkeit. Er war fast zu ehrlich, er sagte immer was er dachte. Und manchmal war das nicht erwünscht. Mit seinen Freunden war er immer aufrichtig und loyal. Diese Einstellung habe ich behalten. Er war auch sehr großzügig. Und einmal, kurz vor seinem Tod, schrieb er mir einen Brief. Wo er mir riet immer mit meinem eigenen Kopf zu denken, und mich nie von anderen von meinem Ziel ablenken zu lassen. Ja, er war ehrgeizig und auch dickköpfig, er wollte oft mit dem Kopf durch die Wand. Und ja, ich bin auch ein bisschen so, ich lasse mir kaum was ausreden von dem ich überzeugt bin

Was bewundern Sie an ihm am meisten?

Mein Vater hatte Mut, in jeder Hinsicht. Als 17 Jähriger ging er in den Zweiten Weltkrieg, zu einem Zeitpunkt wo die Nazis den Krieg schon verloren hatten. Er war Fallschirmspringer, und schon dazu gehörte Mut. Und als es dazu kam nach Amerika zu gehen, nutzte er die Möglichkeit um seine Horizonte zu erweitern. Womöglich wurde er von Porsche in die USA geschickt weil er der einzige Junggeselle war. In den 50er Jahren heiratete man noch früh, und alle anderen Porsche Mechaniker hatten schon Frau und Kindern. Mein Vater war ein Träumer, er wollte immer fort, egal wo.

Er war neugierig und hatte keinen Vorstress. Er las Raymond Chandler und träumte von diesem weiten Land mit den großen Städten. Schon damals war es in Stuttgart zu eng. Er wollte um die Welt gehen.

Und natürlich bewundere ich sein Talent als Mechaniker usw. Rennfahrer. Er wurde für Motoren geboren. Er musste nur einen Motor hören, um sofort zu wissen, was los war. Er war ein gesegneter Mechaniker. Mit Motoren hatte er die gleiche Beziehung wie ein Künstler mit seiner Leinwand. Und er konnte aus dem Nichts ein ganzes Auto machen, einschließlich der Karosserie. Er war einfach der Beste.

Was würden Sie sagen, waren einige seiner positivsten Eigenschaften?

Ich habe es schon erwähnt: er hatte ein Riesentalent, und er arbeitete mit Fleiß stundenlang. Fern von seinem Beruf, war er sehr charmant und wusste wie man sich amüsiert.

Er konnte auch sehr tief und sensibel sein. Er dachte viel, und oft sah ich dunkle Schatten in seinem Gesicht. Wenn er zu grübeln anfing, wurde er meist traurig und Pessimist. Aber das ist eine andere Geschichte.

In Wirklichkeit war er schüchtern, er vergaß nie von wo er kam: eine kleine deutsche Provinzstadt. Ich beziehe mich natürlich auf seinen Geburtsort, Heilbronn, wo er in seiner Kindheit und Jugend lebte, und bevor seine Familie nach Stuttgart zog.

Gibt es etwas Besonderes, das die Welt über ihn wissen soll?

Alle Freunde meines Vaters haben immer gesagt dass es einen Rolf bevor dem Unfall mit James Dean, und einen Rolf nach dem Unfall gab.

Der Unfall hat ihn seelisch und körperlich verwandelt. Mein Vater konnte diese schlimme Erfahrung nie richtig verarbeiten. Nach dem Unfall wurde er von Teil der Dean Fans gehasst und verprügelt. Er fühlte sich so mitschuldig an Deans Tod, obwohl er gar keine Schuld hatte. 

Ich glaube dass seine schönste Zeit zwischen 1960 u. 1965 war, als er bei Porsche meine Mutter kannte, sie heiratete und nach kuzer Zeit auch einen Sohn von ihr bekam. In dieser Zeit hatte er auch seine größte sportliche Erfolge. Damals hatte er sein Leben wieder in der Hand. Aber nach der Scheidung von meiner Mutter, verlor er wieder sein Gleichgewicht und hatte wieder Probleme.

Aber er war ein loyaler Mensch, er war immer bereit wenn ein Freund ihn brauchte,

er war von Motoren besessen und als er nach Amerika ging, hatte er eine schöne Zukunft in Sicht. Es kam leider anders: der Unfall würde für den Rest seines Lebens ausschlaggebend sein; er wurde mit der Zeit selbstzerstörerisch, zudem zerstörte er auch seine besten Beziehungen.

Wie soll sich die Welt an ihn erinnern?

Das kann ich nicht sagen. Mein Vater war keine öffentliche Persönlichkeit. Um ihn zu beurteilen, muss man ihn gekannt haben. Sonst sind es nur Phantasien.

Mir würde es reichen wenn man ihn als einen außergewöhnlichen Mechaniker in Erinnerung hätte, als einen begabten Rennfahrer, als ein guter Freund und ein sensibler Mensch. 

Aber, ehrlich gesagt, glaube ich dass nur sehr Wenige sich an meinen Vater erinnern. Die Zeit nimmt alle Erinnerungen. Und ich glaube dass die Welt sich nicht den Kopf über meinen Vater zerbricht. Und vielleicht ist es so auch besser.

Gibt es etwas, das Sie zum Abschluss sagen möchten?

Mein Vater starb mit 53, ich war da gerade 20. Heute bin ich älter als mein Vater, mit der Zeit habe ich vieles besser verstanden. Wir hatten nie ein echtes u. reifes Zwiegespräch. Wir bekamen keine Zeit dazu.

Ich habe es schon erwähnt: ich vermisse ihn, ich wollte ihn besser kennenlernen und mehr Zeit mit ihm verbringen. 

In den letzten Jahren war er allein u. verlassen. Und das tut mir mir noch sehr weh.

Vielleicht hätte ich ihm helfen können, wahrscheinlich auch nicht. Aber es wäre schön gewesen ihn noch ein letztes Mal zu sehen.