The Miracles at St. Anne’s 

I wanted the ghosts of voiced bells

enough to paint the walls

in a double thick coat

that would stick to our fingers

when we tapped our hands

along the wall

to count

the Stations

of the Cross

and make sure there were still fourteen

and that we weren’t bleeding

patch the holes in our hands and feet

with spit and circling thumbs

we lifted our shirts to check our ribs

and tickled them with our eyes inspecting

on the playground in Sunday school

I put caterpillars on my hand

like limp pieces of yarn and let them crawl

towards the nail cliffs

Those are poisonous. You only have one day to live.

I stared at the golden box

and asked for my life back

wondering if God ever felt claustrophobic with no windows

turns out that kid was a liar

but I’m still waiting for an answer from God

about the windows

for a month a fish reflected on the wall above the pond

and then it disappeared

like the shadow of a cross that hovered on the host

I watched the spirit in the form of a bird

dip his wings in wine

and move through rings of bread

He straddled the line of vision and thought

swirling his tail on the back of my nose like a rattled goldfish

sneezing in prayer

You said the statue of Mary turned her head

once at the Christmas concert

maybe she remembered the time you took a swig from your holy water jug

and wiped your toddler mouth like a drunk man helpless

photo by Meredith Amadee

Amanda Pfeifer has a BS degree in Environmental Science from the University of Arizona. She is a singer-songwriter and poet residing in Tucson, Arizona, where she teaches at an elementary school.

As the child of Wendy and Brian Froud, Toby Froud was raised in a lavishly creative world. While best known as the baby stolen away on Labyrinth he is in fact a very accomplished sculptor and puppeteer. Most recently he directed the highly praised film Lessons Learned.

What was it like growing up in the Froud household? Do you think you would be doing what you are today if not for the influence and encouragement found there?

I grew up in magic. My parents created an environment for me that let me believe and create anything I could imagine. I was also included in everything, there was no children’s table separate from adults. I don’t know that I would be doing exactly what I am doing now focusing on Froud creatures, puppets, and film but I do believe no matter what I would be an artist. It’s in my blood and bones.

What would you say is the most important thing you learned from your parents?

I would have to say, to be true to one’s self. Integrity in your art has incredible worth to my family. We may not make the millions but being happy with what we send out to the world is most important.

What were you like as a child?

It was very normal to find me running around the yard in a super hero cap,one either my mother or I had made, making forts or building puppets around a table with my mum. My energy and passions have always driven me but because I was included at the adult dinner table I was also quite mature for my age (at all ages).

Did you always want to be a puppeteer yourself or did you originally dream of other things?

It’s always been the dream to do something with film. Being a puppeteer was a passion as I grew up but directing has been a dream since college.

Do you ever get tired of people mentioning your role in Labyrinth? Why do you think people ask you about something you were likely too young to remember much of?

(Laughs) I don’t get tired of people asking because I am honored by it every time. It was a great honor to be a part (even a little part) of such a phenomenal production. There really hasn’t been anything like the Labyrinth since, so people still ask. My family jokes that Labyrinth is like a home movie because it does capture me as a baby, so when people see me grown up they feel connected as if they had sat down in our living room and watched a home movie with my parents.

What is it like to be able to look back at that film and see your baby self surrounded by such fabulously crafted creatures?

It’s strangely comforting. It wasn’t just the movie that surrounded me with Goblins and Faeries, it has been my entire life. Another way of putting it, Sarah never actually saved me, I’m still with the goblins.

Did you ever believe in any mythical creatures as a child?

Yes, all of them. I still do. I feel it’s very possible to someday have tea with a Minotaur or dance with a pixie.

How has becoming a father yourself changed your outlook on life in general? What do you love most about being a parent?

I realized that I was now responsible to not just introduce my son to the world but also to the magic I grew up with. The love you feel for a child is so incredible, it guides my every day choices and dreams. What do I love most about being a parent, apart for making him smile, or hugs when he needs his dad, it’s really that I get to buy TOYS again!

Does your son enjoy getting to see your work up close?

My son, Sebastian from a very young age LOVED my father’s work. We say goodnight to the Faeries on the walls of our home as we head to bed; they often stopped or calmed some rough nights as we paced the halls. I don’t know if I made the BEST movie ever or if my son just loves his daddy, but every time he hearing the starting tunes for Lessons Learned he is fixed on the screen and sits there focused for the entire time. He’s had to have seen it at least 100 times now after all the editing! It’s been more recent that Sebastian has enjoyed my puppets in front of him but now he really interacts with them. He has even started putting puppets on his own hands.

What advice would you offer to someone who wishes to pursue a career in puppetry? Where should one start?

Most places have some kind of puppet theatre or groups, finding other puppet people to connect with is a good place to start. Actually puppeteering, I guess all you need is a sock, two eyes and a mirror. It is pretty common to see my puppet hand flapping to Lady Gaga on the radio while driving, I can’t help myself.

What does it take to make a truly interesting puppet?

I would certainly say the eyes. We all relate to each other and communicate with our eyes, so starting with a puppet whose eye can connect is a big part of it. Also, you need to believe that it has lived, it’s either been somewhere or is going somewhere.

How did Lessons Learned come into being? What is the main theme of the film?

I connected with Heather Henson and we chatted about her Handmade Puppet Dream series. Before I knew it I was writing my story. As I mentioned earlier I had to be true to my heart which meant I wanted to make hand puppets with a Froudy feel. This meant I would need more funds to make the film how I imagined it. I ran a kickstarter campaign which was greatly supported raising double my goal and we started making puppets! The main theme is about the things we learn as we grow up and how our experiences stay with us. My wife was well pregnant when the planning started and that was one of my biggest concerns/thoughts, how do you impart wisdom or learn through experience.

Are you surprised at how well received it has been so far?

I am surprised and honored by how it has been received. I probably shouldn’t be surprised because I know people miss puppets, they miss that connection but as an artist you always worry about how people will receive your work.

Do you have a dream project you’d most like to bring into existence?

Yes, I have a few. I hope I get the chance to share them with the world but for now they’re developing in my head and slowly getting to paper.

What projects are you working on at the moment?

I’m currently working for Laika Entertainment on their next film but I can’t share anything more. I am still working on wrapping up Lessons Learned, getting it to festivals and filling my kickstarter gifts.

What do you think is the key to a life well lived?

A piece of stinky cheese and a bottle of red wine, oh and staying true to yourself. If you can look back and know you’ve learned from your life then that’s been a life worth living.

What are your own personal feelings on life, death, and what comes after? How do you hope to be remembered when your time comes?

I hope that I don’t die alone and that I’m remembered with kindness. When all is said and done, I’m running through the woods with the faeries.

Is there anything you’d like to say before you go?

I guess all I could add is this…I do want to continue making puppets and films with puppets. I certainly think it is not a lost art and hope that the support for them continues.

Great Bend local Eli Brocias is best known as the local deputy. A man more complex than society seems to think, he works hard alongside John Henry Hoyle to make sure life is a little more peaceful for the citizens of the small Kansas town. It is our pleasure to offer him a chance to speak his mind in a way that is seldom seen.

What was it like growing up in Great Bend, Kansas? Did you always want to be a lawman?

Well…Growing up here was nice, mostly. Really pleasant. I have a bunch of nice memories from childhood. When I was four I found a frog that I kept inside a wood box until my mother told me she needed the wood box in order to keep the ashes of Uncle Hester, who died of the plague. Still, I had the frog for four days or so and I remember those four days as really nice. I called him ‘jumper’ because he jumped a lot. There was a drought that summer though, so once the box was gone he died I think. Still, he was a nice frog.

Sometimes Ephraim Younger would come by – the Youngers lived down the road a ways – when we were kids. We used to play a game called ‘hit the wasps’ where you took an old broom handle and then tried to hit the wasp’s nest out back as many times as you could. Usually it was once. I guess that I decided to go into being a lawman after my father died. This was just a few weeks before my mother drowned in the bathtub. My dad died losing a duel with himself – or at least that’s what uncle Jesse said –though, actually, I’m not sure how you do that. Uncle Jesse, by the way, died of horse trampling shortly after mother. It’s like Aunt Arvilla said: “Sometimes life gives you oranges and gravy. Sometimes it gives you bedsores.” Of course Aunt Arvilla died of bedsores. She was a terrible cook. Then there were uncle Hebron, Uncle Erwin, Aunt Valentine, Uncle Sorghum, cousin Juniper, cousin Phil, and cousin Alton who passed after a family dispute grew violent. That was a real tragedy. This was all before that big tornado that came through and took cousin Leena, cousin Jefferson, cousin Fontelroy, uncle Jesper, aunt Selena, uncle John, aunt Alice, the deaf boy Stewart, who was visiting at the time, Leroy the mute, aunt Lyla, uncle Jepsom, aunt Forsythe and uncle Tucker. Oh, and all of their children. So at that point I didn’t have any family obligations, and it turned out the Sheriff was hiring. Pretty standard childhood, actually.

How did you come to outlive the first five sheriffs of Great Bend?

I try to stand behind them.

I know you like to pass your time on peyote now and then, what do you enjoy most about that? How else do you like spend your time in such a small town?

Well, Peyote expands your horizons. You learn things. If you want an example of that, I learned not to take Peyote anywhere near a bear because you discover that even though you think the bear is a friend, the bear does not think you are a friend, which explains the scarring on my legs. Sometimes, when I’m off, I’ll try to find games for myself. One game involves seeing how long I can just stand on one foot. Or stare at things without blinking. Or throw rocks at things. Mostly I just get really, really drunk. I may make up other games then, but I tend not to remember them.

What is it like to work with John Henry Hoyle? What would you say is the most important thing you have learned from the whole experience?

Working with Hoyle is a little like eating rattlesnake pancakes. Half of the time they’re delicious, especially if they are covered in syrup. But then, sometimes, they are poisonous or alive. And then sometimes people look at you and tell you “stop eating rattlesnake pancakes”. Those kill people.” (My second cousin Thurston actually died eating rattlesnake pancakes.) Anyway, one of the things I’ve learned from him is to stop eating snakes, which has actually made life better. Less exciting, but better.

It is not every day you see a deputy drag a lady into a gunfight. How did all of that ordeal come about? Did you ever imagine at the time you would become as close to Pearl as you have? What are you personal feelings on her chosen profession?

Yeah. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t actually bring up the gun fight near her. She was just sorta in the bank and it seemed way easier to threaten to shoot her than to actually shoot Frank James. I’d personally prefer if she did pretty much anything else, but she’s sort of insistent. She likes the hours I guess.

How did you come to be somewhat of medicine man when dealing with the evils of the morning after a night filled with alcohol?

Oh there’s a long family tradition of purging the system in times when beset with alcohol’s lingering demons. I’ve only tried the first round of treatments on Hoyle, but I also recommend chewing on an old sock, touching a finger to your eye, and eating sour milk.

How did you feel when you realized you had been duped and paid in confederate currency when Frank James was sprung the county jail? Do you feel Hoyle is responsible for that particular escape?

Well, obviously that was Hoyle’s fault. I think the evidence speaks for itself.

What are some of the most daunting challenges you face as a single man living in the west? Is it hard to find love under such circumstances?

Well there aren’t really any women. Except for whores, obviously. And I don’t really have anything against whores, but they do tend to avoid marrying. And it’s important to settle down. My father always told me, “Son, it’s important to keep the Brocias line going.” This was before that duel with himself. So, yeah, I ordered a woman…Do you think a duel with himself means he shot himself?

What was it like when your mail order bride showed up murdered by the Benders? Is it true she was in fact a man? How did that whole ordeal affect you personally?

Well, that was the worst moment of my life. It’s not often that you experience a deep and true love such as the one that Carlotta and I shared…Roberta. Roberta. Her name was Roberta. Sorry.

Anyway, we shared something special. And I won’t even address the notion that she was mannish. Her pristine face will live in my memory forever.

Did you feel any guilt about giving those blankets to the Indians when you mistakenly thought them responsible for her death? Did you ever happen to apologize to them doing what you did?

Well, I never actually got the blankets to the Indians. I did my best, but I actually mostly just got the town infected. But yeah, I guess I’m sorry about that. Great Bend lost about thirty people and there are some who would blame me.

How did the town of Great Bend get over the outbreak of Smallpox you inflicted on them? Where any of the citizens of the town angry at you for making them so very sick?

Mostly the relatives of the people who died got mad. And we got over plague the usual way: just getting sick and then dying or, sometimes, surviving.

Did it feel a little…satisfying to get to kick Hoyle around after the argument over your plans to do that?

It’s rare that I really get to punch Hoyle hard. He has the weak skin of an eastern lady and the constitution of an invalid. So, yeah, it felt great to kick the hell out of him.

Were you scared when Ma Bender had you tied up and gagged in your underwear? Was that the first time you had ever faced such a terrifying experience?

Well, I was pretty scared when I was younger and Ephraim and I played “Bathtub full of scorpions.” But that was mostly in fun. So, yeah, I guess the Bender’s were worse.

What was it like around town when the Temperance Movement hit Great Bend? Were you glad to see it pass as quickly as it came?

It was really, really dull. I mean dull. Staring at ants dull. Dull like a dull knife. Or a dull scythe. Or some other dull thing. Dull. So yeah. It was good to have it pass.

How is Eli’s Rubberband Emporium(or Rubberbands International)coming along? Why are they so expensive anyhow?

Well, you have to understand that they are bands that are made of rubber. That doesn’t come cheap. Have you ever looked at one? I mean, they are a circle. But it stretches. I don’t know how you might manufacture something like that, but I assume it requires diamonds. Or gold or something. Maybe magic. And, since you are asking, I am willing to offer you four brand new rubber bands at a price of $120. Though there’s a bulk discount if you buy more than a thousand.

What does it take to make a good salesman?

Persistence. And I’m very persistent. I am willing to lower that previously quoted price to $100 to get you to walk out with some new rubber bands today… Once I almost beat a snake in a staring contest. But it turned out it was a dead snake so it actually won out eventually.

It seems like you are always looking for something to do other than your deputy work. What would you most like to do when you are finally able to leave law enforcement? Or have your recent experiences there helped you develop more of a taste for that line of work?

Well, I’d prefer to do something that’s less bullet heavy. And maybe something that plays to my natural talents. I’m really good at eating things. And I have a good solid recipe for rattlesnake pancakes, so maybe I could cook?

What did you enjoy most during your brief stay in Nicodemus? Was nice to get a break from Great Bend?

Nicodemus is really nice. But it would be uncouth to mention what it was that I enjoyed most about my stay.

You have also been to Dodge City. What would you say was the most amazing thing you saw in your travels there?

Well, they have streets paved with street. Buildings made of stone. A place where you can pay a dime and see an elephapotomus…That’s an elephant mixed with a hippopotamus. Of course, it wasn’t so much the creature as a picture of one. And it was dark. And the picture was blurry. But I think it was worth it.

Ephraim ever forgive you for what went on during the raid on Cole Younger?

Ephraim and I are on the outs for a while. But we’ve been on the outs before. Sometimes we’ll get mad at one another because one of us dresses like a lady, or gets stung a whole lot by wasps or scorpions. But at the end of the day we usually make up. We see the world similarly. That means a lot.

Where do you see yourself years from now when you are old and grey?

Well, the Brocias family doesn’t really have a tradition of living that long. So I don’t usually picture myself that way. I tend to imagine a young, violent death, possibly by tornado, through guns, and snakes are also likely. Or knives. Or plague. Or syphilis.

Is there anything you’d like to add before you go?

Yeah, well, I am willing to pass along the recipe for Eli’s famous pancakes:

1 snake (rattle)

1 cup flower

1/2 cup water.

Baking soda

Molasses

As many rubber bands as you can afford.  Directions: Club snake to make sure it is dead. If snake is not dead, wait for snake to die. When snake has died, mix with other ingredients. Fry. Add molasses to taste. Keep rubber bands for display and other purposes.

John Henry Hoyle is quick to talk about his time at Harvard where he studied criminology and forensics, though little is known about the man that has become sheriff of Great Bend, Kansas. From the moment he stepped off of the stagecoach into the streets of that town he has set out to prove his training has served him well. In this interview we are pleased to bring our readers a look at the man who works so tirelessly to restore order to Great Bend.

Did you ever dream you would be studying at Harvard?

Absolutely. Looking back, it was quite clear that I was intellectually gifted. I remember in my toddler years that while my cousins of the same age were playing with their excrement I was taking mine and making patterns in the soil reminiscent of Tibetan sand mandalas. It was clear to everyone that I belonged at Harvard.

What would you say was your favorite course there? What was it like to graduate 327th in your class?

First off, graduating 327^th in your class at Harvard is like graduating Valedictorian in every state school put together so there’s that. As to my favorite classes, you may know that I changed majors on numerous occasions so the courses cover a wide swath of academia – from Introduction to Anthropometry to Apiculture and its relation to Early American Comparative Literature. I also liked Woodworking.

While there did you have a chance to view the anthropodermic volumes housed in the library?

Absolutely…during my freshman and sophomore years. However, while serving as a work/study employee in the Nordicana section of the library my Junior year, I inadvertently allowed a graduate student to check out a large box of Viking skulls. No one told me they were for reference only and were not to be removed from the library. They were used for a fraternity hazing ritual and were severely damaged. Apparently the naked pledges were forced to pick the skulls up using only their butt cheeks and then sprint across the quad.

Was there any one thing that led you to major in forensics? Is it hard to explain the concept of those things to the residents of Great Bend?

An unknown assailant murdered my wife Myra while I was still at Harvard. It remained unsolved until just recently when I learned the infamous outlaw Cole Younger shot her in the back in cold blood. I learned that Myra was also known as Belle Starr and was a wild and reckless outlaw who was romantically involved with Mr. Younger before she met me. Coincidentally, her daughter Pearl is now a whore in Great Bend. When Myra was murdered, I was triple majoring in Philosophy, Dance, and Forensic Science. I chose to focus on Forensic Science to solve her cold case. I still dance alone in my house in Great Bend. In my underwear.

Do you still miss Myra?

Oh yes. Honestly I feel a tinge of guilt over her death as she would not have been slaughtered if it wasn’t for me and my addiction to ginger snaps. Do you find it hard to sleep if you don’t eat something before bedtime? Well I do and ginger snaps fit the bill perfectly. I loved to gnaw on a handful before sleepy time. Of course now it just reminds me of how I got my wife killed so I’ve switched to jerky.

What was it like when you first stepped into the streets of Great Bend, Kansas? What was running through your mind at the time? 

I wanted to see what the town of Great Bend really thought of me so I chose to walk the streets in disguise a few days before Sheriff Hoyle was due to arrive. Thanks to a make-up class I took while briefly a theater major at Harvard I was able to spirit gum a long beard to my face and pose as a 49er. I enjoyed a sarsaparilla with Undertaker Shank but, thanks to a hot day, the disguise began to melt away. Fortunately I was able to convince him that I had leprosy and exited before he saw through the ruse. I didn’t learn anything though. I have since used said skills to dress up as different characters from history while making love to Honey. Last week I was President Lincoln – it was difficult keeping the stovepipe hat on during fornication.

When you learned all five former sheriff’s had met such unfortunate ends did you become concerned about your own well being? Why do you think Eli Brocius managed to outlive them all? Why do you think he didn’t step up to fill the role as sheriff himself? What were you thinking when you had to teach him to aim to shoot during that first shootout?

I wasn’t worried at all. I mean I felt bad for the five previous Sheriffs but of course they didn’t attend Harvard. In prehistoric times, the caveman who was blessed with superior intelligence and was able to out think the saber tooth tiger certainly felt bad for those who were…on the other end of the spectrum. We are all blessed with different attributes. For example, Eli may not be the most intelligent person you’ve ever met but he has an enormously large penis. I, on the other hand, do not. My nickname in the Harvard locker room was chopstick – long, yes, but very thin.

I’ve noticed you like to name your guns, why is that? Do you have a particular favorite?

I carry a Colt .45 “Peacemaker” which is a Single Action Army revolver with a 7” barrel. It was a graduation gift from my Aunt Kathryn, which I found to be a very odd gift. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the firearm very much it’s just I was expecting a something more akin to a doily pattern as she and I enjoyed doilying together in my early years. The inscription on the gun reads: “Congratulations on your graduation from Harvard. Now go out there and pour lead into those outlaw sons of bitches.”

How did the public’s lack of faith in your ability to maintain lawfulness in the town affect you in the beginning? What did you think when you learned of the sheriff’s death pool? Are you looking forward to showing them what you can do?

Honestly it didn’t bother me one bit. How could they know how amazing I was going to turn out to be? I certainly don’t lord my higher education over a population of intellectually inhibited individuals who are subject to fear, superstition, and conspiracy. The future no doubt will cook this kind of nonsense out of the human stew and turn humanity into a thick gelatinous paste that will be delicious on undercooked pasta. Or it could get a lot worse, I suppose. But what are the chances of that happening?

Do you ever feel a little out of sorts in your new surroundings? Does it sometimes get annoying to live three days away from everywhere?

Lord yes. I really don’t understand this notion of spreading everything out. And yes I know they are farmers but why can’t the farmhouses be adjacent to each other? I feel like I am constantly on my horse and, while I love Strawberry Shortcake, I really do miss the convenience of city living. We are social primates for God sakes! Let’s start acting like it. Plus my Norwegian ancestry bequeathed to me some irritable skin conditions that no salve is able to address. In a word: chafing. Serious chafing.

Cole Younger became your very first suspect. Were you surprised your first case would involve such a well known criminal? Are you looking forward to finally bringing him down?

Actually Cole Younger was my second case. My first case in Great Bend involved a local farmer and a chicken. It’s been cleared up though. Case closed.

Do you think alcohol makes the whole ordeal a little easier?

Oh God absolutely. Life is miserable out here. People poop in the streets and urinate out windows. Garbage is tossed wherever the hell you want to. Dead bodies rot for weeks in front of the undertaker’s office until someone pays to have them buried. If you cut your finger chances are good it will get infected and later you will have to amputate your entire arm. You know what people use to wipe their butts? Corncobs! If this isn’t a place to stay drunk 100% of the time then I don’t know where is.

What about the whores in Great Bend, how do you think they differ most from those found in Massachusetts?

Well the whores in Massachusetts are called “people.” Everyone in the city sells himself or herself in one way or another. Heck, if I hadn’t satisfied my Harvard Admissions Counselor orally, do you think I would have gotten in?

Was it hard to get into the good graces of Honey Shaw when you were new in town? How do you feel about her association with your greatest adversary? Do you ever find it hard to trust the citizens you are supposed to protect?

Not at all! From the first moment I met Miss Shaw I could feel the connection between us. There was no doubt in my mind that our life paths would be forever intertwined. And, after our first $5 fornication session in her boudoir, it was certainly clear to me that I was not just another customer. At the conclusion when she tossed me a towel and immediately left mumbling something about restocking whiskey I knew that she had been (as the Italians say) struck by the lightning bolt of love. As to Cole, business is business and as long as he pays, our country’s long history with capitalism requires that Honey provide her services. I just don’t particularly want to know about it.

Are there any little known fact about you that most people would be surprised to know?

I have six nipples. Apparently I was one of three triplets but the other two died In utero and I absorbed them.

Was it a little awkward to have to kiss Xavier as his dying wish? Was the fact that he was a Harvard graduate himself make it a little easier?

Not really. My freshman year I was a Greek and Roman history major. Once you realize what the greatest minds of history were doing in their free time you become a lot more open sexually.

Have you found it challenging to trust Pearl as your stepdaughter so far? What have you learned from her about being a father?

Heavens no. Family is everything. Blood is thicker than water. And while we don’t have any direct lineage whatsoever, I did marry her mother (who was lying to me about her past history) after Pearl was already a grown woman – not to mention the fact that Pearl’s true father was my archenemy Cole Younger (which was something Pearl kept from me). And THAT makes us family.

You’ve said if it were up to you they’d change the name of marriage to sprint to death. Do you think people often enter into such things without considering the dire consequences of such actions?

Oh absolutely! I encourage younger people like Eli to fornicate anything that moves before settling down. Of course now that he is interested in my stepdaughter I would like him to get cleaned up by Dr. Heng before they get too far down the road.

You know, I run into Harvard buddies all the time who wish they had sowed their oats more and my question is always: “What the hell were you doing in your 20’s?” I mean, I slept with EVERYBODY during my college days. Isn’t that what expensive higher education is for? It sure as hell ain’t for getting a job. That much I know.

How did it feel to run into the Benders? What are your own personal feelings on spiritualism and communicating with the dead? What do you hope to be doing yourself when you do die?

As an educated man (Harvard), I am a man of facts. Theory is fine but nothing beats cold hard facts. While it’s true that every scientific truth known to man started as a theory, I think that’s beside the point. The fact is that while we know for a fact that our eyes can’t see a major part of the light spectrum that’s just not a good enough reason to discount something based on the fact that we can’t see them with the naked eye. Does that answer your question? As to my own death, I have instructed Vernon Shank (our undertaker) to burn my body in a funeral pyre. I want to be dressed in my Harvard graduation robe, hat and tassel.

Did the town become a little harder to tolerate when Temperance came to Great Bend? What was Ephraim’s Extract really like?

When you have to wipe your butt with a corncob and bathe in the same river the rest of the town’s sewage flows into, staying mildly drunk is more than recreation. It’s a necessity. It was miserable when the whiskey stopped flowing. As to Ephraim’s Extract – it was like liquid nirvana.

You’ve been known to often indulge your feminine side by wearing dresses and such. Do you think it is important for a man to be able to that now and then?

Any man who can’t let his inner lady out is not a man to begin with. Do I get aroused wearing Honey’s intimates while she takes me from behind dressed in chaps? Absolutely. As a matter of fact, I have a pair of her stockings on right now. I just wish it wasn’t so hot. I have a serious bat wing situation developing.

Why do you often taste things at your crime scenes? Is that something you learned at Harvard or just a weird tick?

A Forensic professional uses everything at his disposal. How can I use Phrenology correctly if I can’t look at the criminally distinctive bumps on a suspect’s head? Taste is equally important if not more so. As most Harvard graduates know, taste and olfactory are deeply connected. This is especially true for me as I blew out my septum while…entertaining myself at Harvard. In any event, my nostrils take in a lot more than the average man. That said, the best way to “smell” something is to taste it. The best way to differentiate coyote excrement from badger excrement is to nibble on it.

What advice would you give others that might wish to follow in your footsteps?

Obviously step one is to apply, be accepted to Harvard, and graduate. The problem many people have with this prerequisite is that they think it is as simple as filling out a form and writing a check. This is not the case. You need to be a VERY special type of man (no women allowed). You should also be white and non-Irish or basically non-everything-not-English. I’m Jewish but I wouldn’t mention that on your application either. You should also be rich and have a family member that attended Harvard. Finally you should be brilliant. Other than that, the rest is smooth sailing!

Anything you’d like to say in closing?

At my core, I am a man of science. I do not subscribe to “theories” that the layman bandies about as fact. Rather, my decisions are based on actual, modern, scientific fact: bumps on a man’s skull can tell us his proclivities towards crime (fact.), all human ears are unique which allows law enforcement to use them to identify criminals (fact.), and most importantly, one can tell a lot about a crime by tasting any excrement found on the scene. Fact. Thank you.

Medusa Dollmaker(Asunción Macián Ruiz, 1983-Valencia, Spain) is a self-taught digital and traditional illustrator and sculptor. Her designs have been printed at such places as TeeFury, TeeVillain, Skulls Make Up, and other fine places. Her personal artbooks include Cabaret(2008, Planeta DeAgostini, and Miracle(still in progress). For more examples of her work please see: http://www.medusathedollmaker.com/, http://medusadollmaker.blogspot.com/, http://www.facebook.com/MedusatheDollmaker

Wendy & Brian Froud

Wendy Froud first gained acclaim as an artist and sculptor when she created Yoda for Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. Her work with Jim Henson on Dark Crystal and Labyrinth also won the hearts of fans worldwide. She has worked to provided lush imagery for the pages of Terry Windling’s Children’s Books and often collaborates with her husband Brian. It was an honor to sit down with her and get a glimpse into one of the most creative minds of our time.

Where did you grow up? What were you like as a child? Did you always have an active imagination?

I grew up in Detroit, Michigan and I spent my summers in Northern Michigan at our family home in East Jordan, so  it was both a very urban setting and a lovely rural one as well. I was an only child but I never felt lonely (or not very often). I certainly always had an active and sometimes overactive imagination, encouraged by my mother, who read all sorts of books to me as a child but particularly fantasy and mythology, with a touch of British history.

Did you believe in fairies as a kid?

Yes, I did. Again, encouraged by my mother. We made houses for them in the garden and left offerings of food and drink and flowers for them. I was named after the Wendy in Peter Pan so really, I had no choice but to believe!

Did you ever have a favorite Fairy Tale?

I don’t think I had one particular favorite but I did have a favorite book of fairytales. It was The Fairy Tale Book with illustrations by Adrienne Segur. It really influenced the way I looked at illustration and has very much influenced the look of my own work. I have found that many other artists and writers, especially female fantasy artists, have been influenced by her illustrations and this book in particular.

What was it like having parents who were artists? Do you think that sort of thing is passed on most often through genes, or encouragement, or a mix of both?

I think it is often a mix of both. Many of our friends were artists, writers, musicians, and patrons of the arts while I was growing up. It seemed natural to be creative in some form or another. In fact I remember finding it very odd when I visited friends’ home and found that there were no paintings on the walls, no sculpture in the house and no books , or at least not in the vast quantities that we had in every room! I was always encouraged to find what ever creative outlet interested me at the time but I always tended to gravitate toward three dimensional work. I started making dolls when I was about six years old and never gave that up.

What would you say is the most important thing they ever taught you?

They taught me to believe in myself and my ability to do what I was passionate about. They would have encouraged me to be an accountant if that was what I truly wished to be. I think that one of the most important things a parent can give a child is support and encouragement.

What was it like when you were asked to created the Yoda character for Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back?

To be honest, I had no idea that Yoda would become anything like the icon he now is. I doubt that any of us who were involved in developing Yoda knew what we had started! I must be clear on this  – I didn’t create Yoda  – I was one of a team working together on creating that character. I DID sculpt the head that was originally approved and then Stuart Freeborn (the head of the department) resculpted to make it technically easier for eye blinks, etc. But  the look of Yoda was my sculpt and although we had sketches to work from, he developed through the sculpting . We were constrained by the size having to be “handpuppet” size  – meaning that Frank Oz needed to be able to get his hand inside the head and puppeteer comfortably ( or relatively comfortably!).

What did you base the form of Yoda on? Where did you get your inspiration for his character?

It’s often said that Yoda was based on Stuart Freeborn but that was probably unintentional, until someone noticed the resemblance and then in later films it was made more pronounced. Having said that, we did work in the same room for months developing Yoda so I guess he had a fifty-fifty chance of looking either like Stuart or me. It’s a good thing he ended up looking like Stuart!

What was it like working with Jim Henson?

Jim was an amazing person to work for and with. He was one of the most generous people I have ever met. He allowed everyone working on Dark Crystal to be creative and he always seriously considered everyone’s suggestions. He didn’t always agree but he always listened. He had a wonderful sense of humor and he was extremely charismatic. People just WANTED to please him and do what he asked of them. But, he was also a tireless worker and set that example for us as well. He was an incredibly creative man.

Why do you think the characters on Star Wars, Dark Crystal, and Labyrinth are so timeless in their appeal?

I think they have an integrity that makes them believable. You WANT to believe in them and as soon as you want that, you also want to follow their story. They take you with them on their journey and you care about them. Good or bad, you have entered into a relationship with them because you feel that they exist outside of the movie screen. I truly think that because they have a physical presence, they will continue to be more believable than characters created exclusively in a computer. Also, there’s a humor in all of these films that is very appealing.Often super heroes take themselves far too seriously!

Do you think with today’s hectic pace the world needs a little fantasy now more than ever?

Oh I certainly do!

How did you and Brian meet?

We met at the very beginning of Dark Crystal when we both came to work in the Muppet workshop in New York on this new project that was just beginning to be developed, Dark Crystal.  We knew that the look was going to be based on Brian’s artwork and style but beyond that, the six of us who were the core group, were given a basic storyline and told to experiment. How wonderful and how rare to be able to do that!

What do you love most about him?

After being married for 34 years? I’m not sure, really. I love so many things about him, but I suppose the thing I really love is his commitment to his art and to Faerie.

How does it feel to get to work alongside someone you love?

It can be a very exciting experience, but also a very frustrating one. We have had to figure out ways to work together without letting our years of being together impinge on our professional work. We have to forget about personal things that annoy us. The wonderful thing about it is that we really DO work well together. Our vision is very similar although we express it in different ways. We love bouncing ideas off of each other and we have learned to listen carefully to each other’s opinions. Cooperation and compromise are very important for a good creative experience!

What advice would you offer someone who wishes to work in the realm of fantasy as you do?

I think my advice would be to truly WANT to do it and commit yourself to trying to find the truth behind your work. It is or should be a vocation and not just a job.

What do you think is key to a life well lived?

Again, I would say that it is finding something that you truly believe in and wish to share with the world. Compassion and awareness are also key components of a life well lived at least that’s what I believe!

What projects are you working on at the moment?

We are just beginning to promote our newest book Brian Froud’s Faeries’ Tales which is coming out in September. It’s another large book like Trolls and is quite beautiful (if I do say so myself!). Brian has painted a great number of full -face portraits of faeries. They look straight at the reader and you can’t help but engage with them. Some are confrontational but they all are extremely compelling. I have been the “mouthpiece” for each portrait, writing down what they seem to be telling me. They tell their own tales and although some of them are tales and stories we know well, they are always told from the faery’s point of view and can be quite surprising. I’ve also sculpted figures for photography in the book and there are pages of faerie objects as well as a story that runs through it and draws the whole thing together. The response from everyone who has seen it so far is just fantastic! It’s a very unique book.

Do you have a dream project you’d most like to bring the world?

I suppose bringing a Faery film to the world that was a true depiction of Faerie as Brian and I see it would be a dream project. Our son Toby has just premiered a short puppet film called Lessons Learned that is in the “Froud” style very reminiscent of Dark Crystal (Brian designed one of the creatures in it). It has had a great response so far and has already won awards at a film festivals. We see this as the beginning of new and bigger things to come and it is very much the beginning of a dream project! People everywhere seem to be SO ready for new puppet films like the past Henson/Froud collaborations. Heather Henson’s production company funded Toby’s film so things are beginning to come full circle.

 Is there anything you’d like to say in closing?

I hope this doesn’t sound like whining but, what I’d like to say is this, if you (the reader) like our work, like what we do, and want us to keep doing it, then please support us in any way you can. Buy our books. Tell your friends to buy our books. Especially the new one coming out in September! Spread the word. Without your support, we can’t do what we do, and as long as we are able to do so we want to keep working and exploring the world we love and bringing it to you.

Beyond the Edge

Her contrasts skim and rustle

quite unprepared for this peculiarity.

Gazing past a startle of phrasing

the world has things to be saddened by.

As a death scream

she has exploded them from her body

gusting among reeds, teeming full,

every word breathes rain, a black swan flows.

Is it over?

Have we come so far—

speak the minders of a benediction,

her risen soul.

Heroic deeds are now pointless,

no smile adorns her golden-age fugue.

The woman is more than perfected—

she is the slightest hairline perfection.

Richard King Perkins II is a state-sponsored advocate for residents in long-term care facilities. He has a wife, Vickie and a daughter, Sage. His work has appeared in hundreds of publications including Prime Mincer,Sheepshead Review, Sierra Nevada Review, The William and Mary Review, TwoThirds North, and The Red Cedar Review. He has poems forthcoming in Bluestem, Poetry Salzburg Review, and December Magazine.

Richard Fortus has graced the stage with artists like Rihanna, The Psychedelic Furs, Nena, Love Spit Love, Honky Toast, The Compulsions, Thin Lizzy, and Guns N’ Roses, with a stage presence that is nothing short of amazing. His work with the music production company Compound has seen his work featured in various tv, film, advertising and video game projects. Fans of the former television show Charmed have enjoyed his work on the theme song as well. His work ethic and drive led to his being one of the most sought after first call sessions artists in NYC. He recently joined forces with the band The Dead Daisies. It is my pleasure to bring our readers a little more information on the latest project.

Where are you from? What were you like as a child? What would you say are your most fond memories from that time?

I’m from Saint Louis. I started playing violin and drums around 4 or 5 years old. I didn’t pick up guitar till I was around 13. I don’t think I was a bad kid. I got in to some trouble, but I wasn’t too bad. I really fell in love with rock n’ roll at an early age and used to go to every concert that I could. It didn’t matter if I was really a fan of the band or not, if they came to St Louis, I went. I definitely have a lot of great memories from shows.

What do you love most about the act of making music?

The spiritual high that is achievable through music is unlike anything else. It’s a place where you are completely out of your body and mind and are acting only as a conduit or channel. It’s something that I’m also chasing. My primary objective is to reach that place every night. Some nights it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. When it does, it is bliss.

Why do you think music has always had such an appeal through the ages?

For THAT reason! Music is a spiritual experience for the musician and the listener. It can move you unlike any other art form. It’s immediate and can be incredibly powerful.

What advice would you offer those wishing to learn to music regardless of their instrument of choice?

You have to love it so much, that it possesses your body and soul. If you don’t have that passionate love, you will never be great. That is of course only if you want to seriously make music a career. If not, as long as you enjoy doing it, you are doing the right thing!

You have a lot of great ink work. When did you first become interested in tattoo art?

I have been interested in the art of tattooing since I was a kid. I always thought that it was a very strong statement and expression.

What have you been up to since we spoke last?

I’ve become very involved with the Dead Daisies and trying to build that.

Are you excited for the release of the new The Dead Daisies EP? What can fans expect from this one?

I’m super excited about it. I haven’t been this excited about a project in quite a while. I love the new songs that we’ve written. We recorded them all live in the studio (for the most part). They have a real vibe and you can hear the excitement in everyone’s playing.

Have you enjoyed working with Dizzy Reed, Jon Stevens, David Lowy, and Marco Mendoza? What do each of them bring to the table?

I love working with these guys. We are all great friends and we all have a lot of respect for each other. Everyone brings something unique to the project, yet there is a real ease to the musical dialogue, as we all come from similar musical backgrounds and share a love for a lot of the same music.

Will you also be touring with the band? Are you looking forward to it?

I’m touring with the band right now! We are out supporting Bad Company and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Two bands that were very influential to us. I think it’s an absolutely perfect bill for us and we will walk away with a lot of new fans. After we finish with this tour, we go straight on to the Kiss/Def Leppard tour for a month.

What do you love most about performing live?

Being in the moment and hitting that space that I spoke about before. Connecting with other musicians and listeners. It’s unbeatable.

What do you look forward to most when you get to head back home?

My daughters! As much as I love to play music, I miss them every day that I am not with them. It’s definitely the hardest thing about what I do. I have a very difficult time touring now because I split with their mom and things are very difficult. I feel that my girls need me, but this is how I have always made my living and I don’t really know anything else.

Do you have a dream project you’d most like to bring into being?

Not really. The Dead Daisies IS a dream project. It’s hard to imagine a better group of people to work with and make music with.

What other projects are you working on at the moment?

 I’m hoping to finish up the next Guns n Roses album soon and to get back out with those guys.

How has fatherhood changed your outlook on life in general?

It’s changed everything. I don’t look at life the same way anymore. It’s funny how you work your entire life to achieve something, and then everything changes and what seemed so important for so many years, seems to pale in comparison to your children.

What do you think is the key to a life well lived?

 I think that as long as you are always continuing to grow and learn, you are living your life well. Stagnation and complacency can often times lead you off of your path. Always continue to shine your light as brightly as possible and all else will fall in to place exactly as it is supposed to.

Lullaby

Bakelite ashtrays overflowed with Winstons and Kools,

as her parents’ friends mingled on a sea of shag carpet,

and swayed to Dusty Springfield on the turntable.

Her mother smelled of White Shoulders,

and her father was the life of the party.

They talked and laughed until the tension was obvious,

and the guests invented reasons to leave.

When the screams and slams and accusations began,

the girl in the flowered nightgown knew to escape.  Quietly pulling

a chair across burnt orange tiles, she found the answer in the sink.

In the bottom of thick crystal glasses,

warm swallows of Brandy Alexander,

cherries soaked in Whiskey Sour, a few sips of a Pink Squirrel.

The key was drinking just enough to feel safe.   It worked

every single time, tucking her into a dream of happily ever after,

and the only thing she could count on.

Soon the parties stopped, and her parents split,

but it took another decade for the booze to stop working.

Maria Masington is a writer from Wilmington, Delaware. Her poetry has been published in The News Journal, The Red River Review, Damozel Literary Journal, and by the University of Colorado’s Laboratory for Atmospheric and Space Physics, MAVEN TO MARS haiku project. Her short story IMPASARIO has been accepted for publication in Someone Wicked, due to be released by Smart Rhino Press in 2013. Maria is a member of the Written Remains Writer’s Guild, The Wright Touch critique group, and participated in the 2012 Cape Henlopen Poets and Writers Retreat. The first Tuesday of every month, you can find her at the Newark Arts Alliance, where she emcees their open mic night, for writers of all genres to share their work.

Hed PE is back with their ninth studio album to the delight of American Rapcore fans everywhere. Their latest offering Evolution is slated for release this July on Pavement Entertainment. Comprised of Jared Gomes(vocals), Mawk(bass), Jackson Benge(guitar) , and Trauma(drums) the band is back with sounds heavier than ever. For more information on the upcoming tour please see: http://www.hedperocks.com/

What were you like as a child growing up? What would you say are your most fond memories of that time?

I was a hyper kid. My grade school teachers would always write the same types of comments on my report cards; “He has a lot of energy,” or, “Distracts other kids.” I couldn’t keep still and couldn’t stop staring at the clouds. My imagination was my best friend and I used to love to draw. One of my fondest memories growing up was the first time I rode a bicycle without training wheels. As long as my memory is still intact, that will remain among the fondest.

How old were you when you wrote your first song? Do you remember what it was about?

I was about 15 or 16 years old when I wrote one of my first actual songs. Believe it or not, I wrote the lyrics as well. It was called, Hold On, and it was a cross between Earth Angel by the Penguins and Don’t Cry by Guns ‘n’ Roses. It was a simple love song about wanting to be with a girl you can’t have. At the time, many girls around me seemed to like that song, so I guess it was a relative success.

Are you excited to be releasing your ninth studio album on Pavement Entertainment?

Evolution is our 9th studio release and it’s always exciting to put out a new record, especially with a label like Pavement, which clearly has a solid grasp on how to treat their artists. The team we now have working with us is incredible. When I talk to others who have worked with Pavement, they have nothing but great things to say about them as well.

 How does this album differ most from albums past?

Every album is said to be different from the prior, but this one incorporates a style that we have yet to showcase, along with some reggae tracks. The style we include on this one is similar to what is known as doom metal. But, to me, we’re really just paying homage to Black Sabbath. We started jamming on a couple of riffs that fit that description and it was obvious to us that this was an avenue worth exploring.

Are you looking forward to hitting the road with the rest of the guys? What is it like to work with them?

We are all partners in crime and have been through a lot together. We all know our places and have nothing but the utmost respect for each other personally and professionally. On stage, there is a chemistry that cannot be matched and can only be generated through time.

What do you think it takes to make a band that has lasting power?

We have some of the most loyal fans any band could ask for. They have stuck with us through thick and thin, so that’s the real reason we’re still here. From within the band, however, it takes communication and mutual respect. Those are the most important factors that contribute to any long-term venture.

How has the music industry changed most since you started working in it?

The economic downturn in 2008, I think, had a substantial impact on the music industry as it did with everything else. The increase in music downloading marked a drastic decrease in CD sales. Today, bands that chart high on the Billboard 200 aren’t selling as many CDs as bands that would have been on that same chart a decade earlier. The middle class seems to be dwindling, but the middle class equivalent of bands is also dwindling. All the money is moving in a different direction because there is not as much of it to go around. The result is that more bands get less funding and less tour support. So, more bands simply can’t afford to tour or put out a record and the ones that do get funding and support tend to get a lot of it. On the up side, so many bands now have an opportunity to promote themselves via social networking. There are smaller labels that offer services suitable to the artist, instead of suitable to the label. Evolving recording technology allows artists to handle more of the writing and recording in house, instead of relying solely on expensive studio time. Now more than ever, it’s all about being wise with your money.

Are there any little known things about yourself that your fans might be surprised to learn?

I do a really good Christopher Walken impression.

What projects are you looking forward to bringing the world next?

I would like to do some more solo stuff and maybe put together some side projects just so I can keep myself busy during the downtime, but it looks like we’ll be pretty busy throughout this album cycle, so we’ll have to see what happens.

What are your feelings on life and death and what happens after?

Life is a continuous process and animates countless vessels. No vessel is more important than any other. Death is merely a transfer of energy from one form to another. No one really knows what happens to us after we die, despite how sure they may think they are. Our behavior in life should be driven by what we truly know, instead of what we think we know.

How do you hope to be remembered when your time comes?

I only hope to be remembered as a good person.

If you could chose just one thing to do before you die what would that be?

I would like to apologize to everyone I ever wronged and ask for forgiveness.

Anything you’d like to say before you go?

It is always a pleasure to be offered the opportunity of expressing myself, whether through music or word. Thank you.