“Pete Suicide” by Ian Ayres



My revolver

So easy to get

Cocked in fist

On the way to the grave

Wide open for morning

Loaded and ready

Bullets to blast

My brains to the clay

Of Mother Nature’s womb

Skull full of stars

People that cross

Lost in a garden

Of slab and dirt

Hands from graves

Reach out to shake

Me up so late

Embalmed hands

Amidst the wilt

How I love the Dead

Putting down roots

Echoing whispers

By the time you get it together

You start to fall apart . . .

Skeletal, you know

A jaw drops

Moss will grow

With unknown approach

Living to die, dying to live

Tombstones scream

Or winds grow shrill

Among final faces

Of resting places

My constant family

Who embraces chill

Beneath my feet



Among the Dead

Gone to bed

Sculptured tomb

Where I stretch

Smoking a joint

Like a Bowie tune

Near a baby’s


A seedling


How I yearn

To hold you


Your crumbling

New name


Not even a weed

So I sing

A lullaby

And reach out

To cradle you

In my arms

With your rattle

Of bones


Birds Fall

Birds fall

From the trees


From disease



Death is

The rest of

Your life

Some call me a necrophiliac

Who bones the boneyard

Others, a ghoul

Who haunts the Dead

Whatever tickles their tulips

Licking dew drops of lust . . .

Did you know divorce kills?

Divorce kills children

For the rest of their lives

Under-aged children

Kicking the emptiness

Of a beer can

Can no longer feel

Superior over anything

Nothing but luck

Before granite claims

Years of avoidance

In unfulfilled hearts

Finding a family

Like me

In the dead of night

To dance


In moonlight


Every vertebra

Of our spines


Is white dust

And soul lost

In dispersing


Ready to be


In a box


To remain


I can always

Be found


Knowing dark


My mind


10 thoughts on ““Pete Suicide” by Ian Ayres

  1. Tina Hall says:

    Happiest of Birthdays to you Ian! We love you!

  2. franny124 says:

    A well crafted poem,rich in imagery.Strong emotional write,which having lost a Brother to suicide,I can well recognize
    some of the emotions.

  3. James Powell says:

    Great stuff!!! Very thought-provoking, and darkly intimate.

  4. jesse Palacios says:

    great, powerful, & emotional.I have also lost too many to suicide.

  5. Victoria Stover says:

    that was very eye opening and strangly beautiful! love it!

  6. Diane Madamx says:

    Such haunting imagery deeply moving and powerful…yet subtle at the same time!

  7. helene udy says:

    Palpable imagery. Loved it.

  8. Wonderfully written. I lost my father to an apparent suicide this month, possibly on Father’s Day, many years ago. So true about divorce which preceded the final loss of my dad when I was ten.

  9. Diane Jepperson says:

    Beautifully written with jarring and gut wrenching imagery at every turn. Can’t say it was an easy read for me, as I lost a brother to suicide. This dredges up thoughts of an extremely painful time. But it truly is an incredible, albeit, dark work. Excellent.

  10. Marie lecrivain says:


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