The Art of Peter Zokosky

"Harvesters"

“Harvesters”

serpent

“Serpent”

"Untitled"

“Untitled”

"Harish, Lord of the Monkeys"

“Harish, Lord of the Monkeys”

"The Three Graces"

“The Three Graces”

"Momento Mori"

“Momento Mori”

"Trapezius"

“Trapezius”

"A Small Clearing"

“A Small Clearing”

"Ape & Model"

“Ape & Model”

"Cypress & Lotus"

“Cypress & Lotus”

Peter Zokosky is an artist whose paintings are stunning in detail and rich in feeling. His works have appeared in countless exhibitions, books, and collections both private and public. A master at portraying anatomy, he has studied it up close in the way of Leonardo Da Vinci and brings it back to life on canvas. For more information on his works please see: http://www.peterzokosky.com/ and stay tuned to The Original Van Gogh’s Ear Anthology for an interview with the man behind the work.

An Interview with Paul Dini

pdini

 From animated series such as Star Wars: Ewoks, Tiny Toon Adventures, Batman and Superman: The Animated Series, The New Batman/Superman Adventures, and Batman Beyond where he worked as producer and writer, to the scripts for shows like Animaniacs, Freakazoid, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Transformers, Lost, and Tower Prep, Paul Dini has written some of the most beloved and memorable characters of all time. He was worked on countless books for DC as well as Marvel. His most recent works on the animated series Ultimate Spider-Man, Hulk and the agents of S.M.A.S.H., the storyline for the video game Batman: Arkham City(the follow up to Batman: Arkham Asylum which he also penned), and Bloodspell. Dini is also a member of the Academy of Magical Arts.

To see more of the interview with Paul please see here: Paul Dini

(Please note this is an older interview of mine that originally ran at The Damned Interviews…I will be moving more of them here in the future in order to…save them. I do hope you all enjoy reading them as much as I’ve enjoyed doing them. ~Tina)

“The Order of Castigation” by Rachel M. Newlon

The Order of Castigation

This guilt is a sentence.
This guilt is a sentence of separation.
This guilt is a sentence of separation deferred.
This guilt is a sentence of separation deferred by offense.

This offense is an influence.
This offense is an influence of impact.
This offense is an influence of impact wasted.
This offense is an influence of impact wasted on youth.

This youth pleaded.
This youth pleaded in panels.
This youth pleaded in panels of activities.
This youth pleaded in panels of activities and offense.

An offense of force.
An offense of saturation.
An offense of own time.
An offense of friendship.
An offense of trust.
An offense of judgment.
An offense of defense.
An offense of law.
An offense of death.
An offense of impact.

Rectified by raised Bible for there is manslaughter.
Rectified by Sunday for there is binging.
Rectified by empty pews for there is blindness.
Rectified by choir for there is law.
mistake wasted mistake conviction mistake accident mistake alcohol
mistake probate mistake passenger mistake drink mistake world
mistake…isn’t free
Religious sentence
Judge him prior.

rachelnewlon

Rachel M. Newlon is a married mother of three boys who truly loves to write. She completed an undergraduate degree at Metropolitan State University in December 2010 – English (writing concentration) and will be graduating from Naropa University in July 2013 with an MFA in Creative Writing. She is just now finding comfort in sharing my work with others and have taken to the time to start the submission process.

“Prison of Flesh” by Anonymous

Snow Corpses

I suffer from an inability to connect with others. When I have to deal with people, I force myself and tend to drink and/or take drugs to get through it. I don’t understand how I ended up trapped in this dread of future corpses. When I was a child, before my parents split up and traumas trumped traumas, I spontaneously connected with others. I loved everyone with pure joy in my heart. Early on, my heart and spirit were crushed. Faith seemed like clinging to a melting block of ice. Now I go through long spells of isolation where just sending an email is impossible unless I’m drunk. I am sober as I write this. For some reason, Tina, you have not turned against me as most people do. Most people think I’m rejecting them. Or they think that I think I’m better than them, or they see me as an “icy creep.” Truth is, I just don’t know how to feel close to anyone. It scares me when feelings of closeness emerge. Yet, I do love. I love you for not giving up on me. Maybe you understand whatever it is that keeps me trapped. People can be so cruel. People kill each other. People scare the hell out of me. The dilemma is that I’m a people, too. Guess I still haven’t figured out how to deal with social stuff without letting anyone rip me to pieces. As soon as I feel a certain closeness, I offer my heart. That freaks people out as much as my keeping closed off. People seem so impossible. How did I end up being a people, too? The main thing I want to make clear is that I do love lots of people. Although most people probably think I don’t give them a second thought. They’d be surprised how much they matter to me. You are among the very few that I’ve felt safe enough to open up to. Guess it’s cuz we’ve only met in cyberspace. Still, you’re often in my thoughts and always in my heart. I do love you. Always will.

An interview with Nick Percival

Nick Percival

Nick Percival’s highly detailed and intricate artwork has graced countless books, videogames, film, and television projects. Fans might recognize his work from Clive Barker’s Hellraiser( BOOM! Studios), World of Warcraft, Magic the Gathering, Fangoria, and D&D. He has worked for such illustrious clients as SONY, Warner Brothers, Marvel, the Sci-Fi and History channels, Hasbro, Atari, and Johnny Depps Infinitum Nihil, just to name a few. Nick is also creator of the award-winning, hardcover graphic novel LEGENDS: The Enchanted.

To read our interview with Nick see here: Nick Percival

For more of Nick’s work and links to his sites etc. also see our piece: The Art of Nick Percival

“SCISSORS TO WIDOW’S WEEDS: Yoko Ono’s Cut Piece 2003” by Ian Ayres

SCISSORS TO WIDOW’S WEEDS:
Yoko Ono’s Cut Piece 2003

By Ian Ayres

Ian Ayres & Yoko Ono (Cut Piece 2003) Paris

Ian Ayres & Yoko Ono (Cut Piece 2003) Paris

“I see life as the playground of our minds.”
                                                                               ~ Yoko Ono

“CROWD CUTS YOKO ONO’S CLOTHING OFF!” and “YOKO ONO DOES STRIPTEASE FOR PEACE!” and “FRENCH FIGHT SHY OF YOKO’S STRIP!” sensationalized the headlines. None of the media even hinted at the deeper meaning of Yoko Ono—in the name of world peace (and perhaps a new love of life)—having allowed the crowd to cut off her widow’s weeds. Even more symbolic was the fact that Yoko Ono performed this finalé of her legendary Cut Piece in Paris, the fashion capital of the world. Instead of a dress being paraded for potential buyers, a dress was being cut to shreds! This struck me as more than a demonstration for peace, world peace, but a statement against capitalism; a cry for the return to nature that would save our planet, our species. What impresses me most, however, is the courage Yoko displayed—considering the murder of John Lennon with her literally at his side, and the innumerable death threats she’s received ever since—in daring to repeat a performance that would not only expose her throat to a potential assassin but put into the assassin’s hand a deadly weapon: a pair of well-sharpened scissors.

The jagged steel of those scissors she carried glistened against the blackness of her long, layered, silk-chiffon skirt and tight, black, long-sleeved top when she gingerly stepped, as if walking on thin ice, onto the stage of Paris’ intimate Théâtre du Ranelagh. Applause temporarily relieved the foreboding I felt during that Monday evening of September 15, 2003. Here was Yoko Ono: A slender, cool, 70-year-young avant-garde icon; one of the art world’s leaders of conceptual and performance art; in the flesh. My angst over a possible, bloody murder metamorphosed into fascination.

With whispered thanks to my absent friend Phillip Ward—coeditor of Van Gogh’s Ear: Volume 3 (www.frenchcx.com) that I edited here in Paris—for having told me about this top secret event in time to get on the guest list, I applauded long and loud enough for the both of us. Applause filled the theatre as the memory of Phillip’s 5th of September telephone call from New York City rang in my ears. The second he was sure I was me, he’d said, “Are you sitting down?” Something in his sonorous voice told me the news was too thrilling to send in an email. Earlier in the week, Phillip had asked Yoko Ono’s studio and production assistant, Robert Young, if he’d ask Yoko about contributing some work to our upcoming edition of Van Gogh’s Ear. It wasn’t long before Robert contacted Phillip to echo Yoko’s answer, her famous, “Yes.” Not only would she contribute several poems—but a few of her Franklin Summer drawings, too! This news hit me like a shot of some euphoric drug. Little did we suspect, when we began our small non-profit enterprise, that we’d be entrusted with the works of such great talents as Yoko Ono, Norman Mailer and Thich Nhat Hanh. My enthusiasm led to Phillip informing me more about Yoko Ono’s art and music, and to her mind-altering “Fluxus.”

I knew that John Lennon once said Yoko Ono was the world’s “most famous unknown artist. Everybody knows her name, but nobody knows what she does.” When Phillip mentioned Yoko being one of the founding members of Fluxus, I said, “What’s Fluxus?”

“Fluxus,” he offered, “began as a group of writers, musicians and artists organized by George Maciunas, whose 1963 Fluxus manifesto incites artists to—Here, I’ve got it right here: ‘purge the world of bourgeois sickness, intellectual, professional and commercialized culture…dead art, imitation, artificial art, abstract art, illusionistic art…to promote a revolutionary flood and tide in art, to promote living art, anti-art…non-art reality to be grasped by all peoples, not only critics, dilettantes and professionals.’ So they created an art form that was anti-elitist, anti-commercial. Utilizing readymade materials and experimenting with various art forms, they created something that was part Dada, part Bauhaus and part Zen.”

Phillip explained that over the last 40 years, Fluxus artists produced interesting installations and limited edition publications, teasing the mind in cartoon fashion, yet in a minimalist and philosophical manner, while encouraging thought and dissection. In her association with Fluxus, Yoko Ono staged performances in Japan, England, and the United States. She hosted art and music Happenings in her SoHo loft. While at the same time making films, composing music, and creating paintings and books. Even today, Yoko continues to execute Fluxus concepts and philosophies behind her art form.

“Her inventive sometime provocative game-like concepts and instructions encourage us to step over the boundaries of art’s constraints to construct art inside ourselves,” Phillip continued. “She brings to the mind a challenging concept: Trust. This is demonstrated clearly in her chess piece, titled Play it by Trust. All the pieces, including the checkered grid, are painted white. According to Yoko, white is the most conceptual color. Being a metaphor for light and transcendence, it doesn’t interfere with your thoughts.

“Yoko’s works are to be performed by a viewer or an audience member. Many to be performed only in the participant’s mind. These concepts also compliment Marcel Duchamp’s belief that art is only partly created by the artist and is completed by the spectator. Incidentally, Dada artist and philosopher Duchamp was himself an active Fluxus contributor and participant in many Fluxus ‘Happenings.’”

Phillip—saying that Yoko Ono is one of the most pioneering avant-garde artists of our time—then encouraged me to go experience her Women’s Room exhibit, on view at Paris’ Musée d’Art Moderne. He mentioned how, with patience and imagination, “Yoko’s art is as rewarding as it is demanding,” then added an idea that now fascinates me: “Transforming art into thought.”

On the Mètro to Musée d’Art Moderne I got to thinking, “Women’s Room. Men’s Room. Public restroom. Hmm….” However, instead of hearing toilets flushing when I entered Women’s Room, I heard a looped recording of Yoko’s occasional soft coughing punctuated by the gentle clicking of what appear to be claves. From one of the exhibit’s leaflets I learned that the recording was titled Cough Piece. Phillip later informed me that Cough Piece was a 32-1/2-minute sound work originally recorded in Japan in 1963. The exhibit’s leaflet only offered that “Poetic irony is evident in the sound work, Cough Piece, composed out of the repetitive rhythm of coughing.”

Arresting my visuals was a large olive tree Ono had transformed into Wish Tree. Countless wishes of peace and love hung on small white tags with thick string from every inch of every branch, fresh as fallen snow. Yes, I thought, Yoko’s fans are Love fans, my kind of fans, the best fans to be. The leaflet said that “Wish Tree gathers together the dreams and wishes of each visitor.” Wishing they’d said more, I turned over the page and discovered an introduction for the exhibit by the artist herself. “Women’s Room,” wrote Yoko Ono, “presents the life of a woman through four different media…. In Wish Tree, a pathway is offered to the “garden” of our vision. It is in unity, we find our way to make our dream come true…. A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.” Thus inspired I went over to a podium next to the olive tree where blank white tags and a pen had been placed. I pondered over how Yoko encouraged love, and no limits on love, then wrote: To kiss Yoko. With patience, I managed to find a place on one of the tag-crowded branches to hang my wish. Little did I suspect my wish would soon come true.

Ian Ayres with Yoko Ono's Wish Tree

Ian Ayres with Yoko Ono’s Wish Tree

While securing the wish onto the olive tree, I noticed the sound of snipping scissors echoing from beyond a small, wall-partition. Someone getting a haircut? Paragraph four of Ono’s introduction to the exhibit soon made it clear that whatever it was wasn’t live. “As for the films,” she’d written, “each film is repeated on two, three or four walls, depending on the set up. Each projection is being made 10 seconds later from the other—like a musical ring, in the same way as I perceive my life, going over the experience as I experience it.” The flipside of the leaflet clarified: “Women’s Room makes reference to political engagement and personal memory. The four films presented here: FreedomFlyRape; and Cut Piece (a film of Yoko Ono’s performance Cut Piece 1964) evoke the social role of women and their emancipation.”

Behind the wall-partition was a large, doorless room with six screens—three on each side of the room—and a wall-petition in the middle permitting you to wander round. The 10-second differences in time of the film on the different screens scattered my sense of time. My mind seemed to fragment into past, present, and future all at once. I was in a vacuum, a whirl of “snip, snip, snip”! Surrounded in the room’s blackness, by the black-and-white film, my eyes darted from screen to screen of the young Yoko Ono kneeling onstage in a black dress with her white slip being more and more exposed as people continued cutting and taking away pieces of the dress. Like vultures, I thought, all taking a piece of her.

The audience’s aggressive violation of Ono’s body, shredding her clothes, stripping her naked, absolutely disturbed me. But throughout most of the performance she sat completely still, training an icy stare on the audience. Then one young man in the film distracts Ono from reversing the audience’s voyeurism when he symbolically rapes her with the scissors. The guy smirked vengeance and rather violently snipped the exposed slip from the area of her breasts. Yoko made a soft frightened sound, raised her hand to stop the victimization then, as if realizing it would go against the Zen-like purpose of Cut Piece, lowered her hand in sad resignation. I felt fear for Yoko. The guy contentedly laughed to himself and continued to cut away until her white bra was completely exposed. When he stepped behind her and snipped both bra straps, Ono modestly folded her arms across her breasts.

In showing the best moments of this performance of Cut Piece in a continuous, echoing loop, the film seemed to be a “cut piece” in itself. Truly remarkable, and unnerving. After witnessing the various cuttings, along with the scissors’ rape, several times, I pulled myself away to interact with more of Yoko’s exhibit. I explored Blue Room, which opened my eyes to the fact that language, by itself on a gallery wall, is a justifiable form of art. With 14 hand-written sentences on the walls, ceiling, and floor—the meaning of which is in total contradiction to the emptiness—the viewer is “instructed” as to what to construct inside their mind. For instance, to remain in the room until it turns blue. The room is painted white.

Next I experienced Vertical Memory, which, on the leaflet, Yoko explained “was created putting together photographs of my father, my husband, and my son. I selected photographs of them facing the same direction, overlapped them and morphed it. Every photo represents the man who was looking over me in a precise moment when I went through an important situation of my life.” Her words then drew my eyes toward the next art piece, Sky TV. “The Sky TV projects the sky of my childhood. The sky I saw was a little girl which was there for me, always, without change; while I kept walking through many years, many countries, many lives. The experience is parallel to that of Vertical Memory: one as the memory of earth, and the other, as that of the sky.”

That’s when I noticed a TV placed on the wooden floor. When I saw a black-and-white sky, I checked the flipside of the exhibit’s leaflet, where they’d briefly noted, “Sky TV shows an image of the sky taken by a camera placed on a roof.” Figuring color video hadn’t been possible in 1966 when Sky TV was first made, I went over, laid down on my back, and gazed up at the screen of clear gray sky…wisps of white cloud gently moving overhead. It took me a moment to realize the sky I was watching inside was the actual sky outside!

On the Métro back to my apartment I found myself surrounded by foreigners speaking in unfamiliar tongues, which irritated me. So, in an effort to block out their existence, I opened my newly acquired Spare Room—Yoko Ono’s artist’s book specially made for her Paris exhibit of Women’s Room. The passage I happened to open to made me think coincidence happens far too often to be a coincidence. “Next time you meet a ‘foreigner,’” came Yoko’s words, “remember it’s only like a window with a little different shape to it and the person who’s sitting inside is you.” These words of hers totally transformed my annoyance into compassion for these strangers on the train. And I was forced to realize that being an American living in France made me also a foreigner.

As soon as I got home I surfed the web for information on Cut Piece. In a 1992 interview, Yoko Ono tells Ina Blom that “Cut Piece is about freeing yourself from yourself. Like all artists, I have the tendency to give what I want to give. And I am defying that, in that piece. And it is a frightening piece to perform. Very tense. And because it was such an incredibly important piece for me, I took care of the details. In those days clothes were very important to me because I had so few. But when I performed Cut Piece I always made sure to wear my best suit. It was the total offering, you know, so that you wanted to wear your best suit for it. I lost my best suit every time I performed the piece.”

I surfed on to learn about Yoko Ono’s most innovative early works, which include her Instructions for Paintings. In these pieces she uses language—the words themselves—instead of a traditional art object, to provoke interactivity with viewers. The viewer must perform the instructions in order for the work to exist. Her instructions have the form of brief poems, uniquely her own. They are the thought they convey. The question is how the instructions are received and what the reader of them does to make them true: The instructions must be followed for the work really to exist.

Experiencing some of Yoko’s instruction paintings, which were shared on the web, inspired me to create an instruction painting of my own (for paper):

                              POINT PIECE
                               

                              Cut here > (———).
                              Put your hand under (or behind).

                              Stick your finger through.
                              Point at yourself.
                              Point at the sky (or ceiling).
                              Imagine no gravity.

While riding the keyboard like a surfer on waves, catching lots of great sites, I wiped out when the phone rang…and the quick download I’d tried for blocked. To my disbelief it was Phillip Ward. “You’re not going to believe this,” he said. “Yoko’s going to perform Cut Piece in Paris on the 15th.”

Phillip gave me the information needed to get on the guest list to participate in this hush-hush event. He said nothing would be announced until the last minute. Thanks to Phillip, chances were strong I would, after all, be one of those lucky people to witness and to participate in Yoko’s reprise of Cut Piece; which she hadn’t performed in nearly forty years, and in Paris. The wish tag I had hung on her Wish Tree dangled before my memory: To kiss Yoko.

A week later, there I was at the Théâtre du Ranelagh, watching Yoko’s 27-year-old son Sean Lennon and his girlfriend Bijou Phillips in the front row, just two rows ahead of me. People kept coming up and talking to Sean. He was quite amiable.

 Sean Lennon talks with people in the audience. Photo © 2003 by Eric Elléna

Sean Lennon talks with participants.
Photo © 2003 by Eric Elléna

Then someone let Sean know it was time. He stood up, faced the audience, and introduced his mother. Everyone loudly applauded Yoko as she walked onto the wooden stage, over to a microphone placed on a simple, wooden stool, and gave a sweet smile. She picked up the microphone and, sitting down, spoke to us in perfect French.

“Imagine love,” Yoko said. “Imagine the sea.”

And I did. I saw us all as raindrops in a sea of raindrops.

“Imagine peace. Peace for you and me and all the world. Never forget love. I love you.” She paused, as if looking into the very essence of each of us. Finally, prepared to trust her life in our hands, she held out the scissors. “Allons-y!” she said (for “Let’s go!”). Setting the microphone to the left of where she sat, she placed the scissors in front of her—much like the action of a determined noble Samurai preparing for the deadly deed.

It alarmed me when several men jumped up from their seats and rushed over to the stage steps. Yoko was completely vulnerable in the middle of that bare stage. Fortunately a gentleman, standing near the steps, stopped them. Stationed directly across, at the steps leading down from the stage, was Yoko’s studio assistant exhibitions manager and curator, Jon Hendricks, who has worked with Yoko Ono for many years and is the author of the acclaimed book Fluxus Codex.

When Mr. Hendricks nodded an “all systems go,” the gentleman whose job it was to play gatekeeper allowed the first cutter to mount the steps to the stage. This first cutter, a middle-aged man, wasted no time in going for a piece of Yoko’s top, cutting a large fragment of material away from just above her breasts. The cutting of Yoko’s clothes off of her must’ve made the man nervous for, as soon as he had the piece in his hands, he dropped the scissors. A number of us 200 audience members gasped as the scissors hit Yoko’s knee, then bounced off to hit her foot.

Sean Lennon and his girlfriend Bijou Phillips were, of course, among the cutters. When Sean went up, he said something to his mother that made her smile, nod in agreement, and take off her black suede shoes. This seemed wise, since each shoe was secured to the foot by a single strap and most likely the only shoes she had in which to leave the theatre. She wouldn’t want anyone cutting them! Sean then, in a loving spirit of peace, cut a hole into the sleeve of his mother’s black top.

The routine rhythm of cutters “snip-snip-snipping” broke cadence when Yoko was obliged to stop a young woman who picked up one of Yoko’s shoes and began hacking away at its leather strap. By the time Yoko realized what the woman was doing, and said something to her, it was too late. The strap was hanging in two.

Watching the specific actions of various audience members, as I stood in line inching toward the stage, my mind wandered to what that guy had done to Yoko with the scissors in 1964. That action needed to be softened and made positive, I thought. But, presently, one woman hacked away rather brutally with the scissors, and another almost violently ripped her piece—as did a man who followed. It seemed they weren’t aware of the reasons for this performance. Why were they here demonstrating hostile actions in a demonstration for peace? I wondered. It’s about peace, not destruction.

They seemed oblivious to Ono and Lennon’s 1960s and 1970s offbeat peace protests, including the Bed-In For Peace against the Vietnam War. They didn’t seem to know about Yoko’s billboard in London’s Piccadilly Circus, which read: “Imagine all the people living life in peace,” a line from Lennon’s famous song Imagine. Maybe they didn’t even care that Yoko took out full-page advertisements in papers around the world on the eve of the war in Iraq earlier this year, saying: “Imagine Peace…Spring 2003.”

Yet Yoko remained loving (though understandably nervous) and dignified as some of these strangers, like cannibals, hacked away at her clothes. She merely sat on stage while audience members, one at a time, approached and picked up the pair of scissors lying next to her feet to cut off a piece of her black clothing. This was done fairly silently; the only thing to be heard was the occasional cough and the footsteps advancing and retreating.

Not long before it was my turn to go on, however, I became concerned about a man who approached her with doubled fists. He grabbed the scissors from the floor and hacked brutally at her skirt, tearing off a long enough piece to strangle her with. I doubt I’m the only one who became alarmed. He dropped the scissors, letting them loudly hit the stage, and stretched the piece tight in both hands. He stood over her, menacingly, pulling the piece tight then, lowering it toward her neck, suddenly turned away and walked off the stage. There was a sigh of relief in the crowd. He could’ve done it, you know. Yoko’s bodyguards, which no one saw, but I’m sure were nearby, weren’t close enough to stop him—unless they had guns, of course. Maybe that crossed his mind.

Eric Elléna, my publisher at French Connection Press*, eased the tension when he came on next and cut a piece from her skirt. At first I felt impatient with his taking longer than most to get a snippet of material…until he stood and displayed his cutting to the audience. He’d cut his piece in the shape of a heart, which lightened the heavy doom in the air and brought a laugh. From then on, the rest of the cutting off of Yoko’s dress went without a stitch.

At long last my turn came to be stopped by the “gatekeeper.” The two young women before me apparently had been in cahoots. The first went up and cut a piece of her own jacket—making a big show of this for the audience—then placed the piece on Yoko’s lap. Then her friend went on and held up a red Band-Aid for all to see. She made a show of picking up her friend’s piece of jacket from Yoko’s tattered lap, and band-aided the piece to the exposed area of Yoko’s heart (Yoko’s sexy black bra by this time fully exposed). I wasn’t sure how I felt about the dark piece of material stuck with the red Band-Aid to Yoko’s chest. It did look kind of avant-garde, the Band-Aid being red and all. But Jon Hendricks hurried onstage and yanked the Band-Aid off of Yoko to loud applause.

The “gatekeeper” wouldn’t let me pass until Mr. Hendricks was safely down the opposite steps, where he’d remain to make sure no one fell. When I was finally allowed to go up onstage, I couldn’t help smiling. There was Yoko Ono, sitting demurely on the wooden stool, her black lace bra exposed and her black silk-chiffon skirt a little gnawed at its ruffled edges. I felt such a tremendous love for peace radiating from her being. As I slowly approached her, I didn’t feel awe or goose bumps or anything but love. Love exudes from her energy. And I admired her for giving of herself so freely to the world…and for peace. In true Lennon-Ono fashion, in this world full of anger and violence, she spoke through her actions, saying, “Let’s give peace a chance through our active and visible demonstrations of love.”

I kissed her on her cheek, then knelt to cut a large enough piece to share with Phillip, as I’d promised. I chose part of a ruffle, which held another layer of ruffle beneath, thus making it difficult and prolonging the cutting. More than anything I wondered at the coincidence of it all. My wish on her Wish Tree had come true.

Ian Ayres cuts a piece of Yoko Ono's black dress.Photo © 2003 by Eric Elléna

Ian Ayres cuts a piece of Yoko Ono’s black dress.
Photo © 2003 by Eric Elléna

Back in my seat I was pleased to see other people go up and kiss Yoko. One gentleman kissed her hand. And then a tender moment came when a young man and young woman went up together. She cut a piece, then presented it to him. (The “instruction” was to cut a piece and send it to a loved one.) He then cut it in half. They each kept one half, then kissed before leaving the stage. I felt they clearly understood the meaning of Cut Piece. Yoko’s message is that although we each possess the scissors that make killing possible, we have a choice. We can choose love. We can put down the scissors. She says embrace each other. Don’t cut each other to pieces.

Of course the mood quickly changed as Yoko looked straight ahead and barely moved while a man dressed in a suit hacked a major piece off her skirt to reveal a large part of her thigh. A few minutes later one brazen young man sliced through the waistband, shearing off her skirt completely, taking nothing as he left. She sat there in her matching black lace panties and brassière, with the remains of her skirt draped over the stool beneath her.

There weren’t many of the 200 audience members who, by this time, hadn’t already had their chance to cut. The last ones of the line contented themselves with cutting pieces from what was left of her black silk skirt hanging on the stool. Well, someone was bound to cut her bra strap. This time, instead of a man practically raping her with the scissors, it was a woman who was nice about it. She only snipped one strap, as if what wouldCut Piece be without a cut bra strap?

For Yoko’s panties and bra to be cut off her, in the spirit of earlier Cut Piece performances, it would’ve been necessary for someone who’d already been up, to go up onstage again. They would’ve made a fool of themselves. Especially with Yoko’s son and his girlfriend sitting in the front row. And so it was in perfect taste and timing that Paul Jenkins (of Yoko’s Studio One) gallantly brought her a pink kimono. Yoko took her bows to a standing ovation, then retreated into the wings.

I couldn’t help thinking how Yoko Ono is the only celebrity of such magnitude who would ever have the courage to allow the public to come up and cut pieces of their clothes off. Not even for the sake of world peace would they do it. Yeah, Yoko’s a cool chick, baby. And as Eric Elléna and I left the theatre, I rubbed the black silk-chiffon of my piece of Yoko’s widow’s weeds and imagined all the peace contained in each piece of fabric cut that evening from her body.

Once more in front of the theatre, we looked up at her words on the huge posters, in French and English, displayed to inspire the world. On the posters Yoko Ono’s words read: “Following the political changes through the year after 9/11, I felt terribly vulnerable—like the most delicate wind could bring me tears. Cut Piece is my hope for world peace.” By allowing strangers to approach her with scissors, Yoko said she hoped to show that this is “a time where we need to trust each other.”

Yoko Ono's Cut Piece 2003 (Ticket & Piece courtesy of Ian Ayres)

Yoko Ono’s Cut Piece 2003 (Ticket & Piece courtesy of Ian Ayres)


Van Gogh's Ear (2004) with Yoko Ono

*Van Gogh’s Ear is published by French Connection Press (www.frenchcx.com)

Eric Ellena & Ian Ayres (Imagine Peace) Montreal Museum

Eric Ellena & Ian Ayres (Imagine Peace) Montreal Museum

An Interview with John Alan Schwartz

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John Alan Schwartz has been called “ The Godfather of Reality Television” for his work as a writer, producer, and director. John has worked on over 250 magazine stories, prime time specials, and syndicated shows. His cult classic Faces of Death shocked the masses when all of the scenes were thought to be real. Schwartz’s most recent project Two Jews on Film is available now at youtube.com/twojewsonfilm It is an honor to have the chance to bring our readers a glimpse at the man behind the media.

To read more please see: John Alan Schwartz

“Chief Seattle’s 1854 Oration”

Version 1 (below) appeared in the Seattle Sunday Star on Oct. 29, 1887, in a column by Dr. Henry A. Smith.

“CHIEF SEATTLE’S 1854 ORATION” – ver. 1

AUTHENTIC TEXT OF CHIEF SEATTLE’S TREATY ORATION 1854

 Yonder sky that has wept tears of compassion upon my people for centuries untold, and which to us appears changeless and eternal, may change. Today is fair. Tomorrow it may be overcast with clouds. My words are like the stars that never change. Whatever Seattle says, the great chief at Washington can rely upon with as much certainty as he can upon the return of the sun or the seasons. The white chief says that Big Chief at Washington sends us greetings of friendship and goodwill. This is kind of him for we know he has little need of our friendship in return. His people are many. They are like the grass that covers vast prairies. My people are few. They resemble the scattering trees of a storm-swept plain. The great, and I presume — good, White Chief sends us word that he wishes to buy our land but is willing to allow us enough to live comfortably. This indeed appears just, even generous, for the Red Man no longer has rights that he need respect, and the offer may be wise, also, as we are no longer in need of an extensive country.

 There was a time when our people covered the land as the waves of a wind-ruffled sea cover its shell-paved floor, but that time long since passed away with the greatness of tribes that are now but a mournful memory. I will not dwell on, nor mourn over, our untimely decay, nor reproach my paleface brothers with hastening it, as we too may have been somewhat to blame.

 Youth is impulsive. When our young men grow angry at some real or imaginary wrong, and disfigure their faces with black paint, it denotes that their hearts are black, and that they are often cruel and relentless, and our old men and old women are unable to restrain them. Thus it has ever been. Thus it was when the white man began to push our forefathers ever westward. But let us hope that the hostilities between us may never return. We would have everything to lose and nothing to gain. Revenge by young men is considered gain, even at the cost of their own lives, but old men who stay at home in times of war, and mothers who have sons to lose, know better.

Our good father in Washington–for I presume he is now our father as well as yours, since King George has moved his boundaries further north–our great and good father, I say, sends us word that if we do as he desires he will protect us. His brave warriors will be to us a bristling wall of strength, and his wonderful ships of war will fill our harbors, so that our ancient enemies far to the northward — the Haidas and Tsimshians — will cease to frighten our women, children, and old men. Then in reality he will be our father and we his children. But can that ever be? Your God is not our God! Your God loves your people and hates mine! He folds his strong protecting arms lovingly about the paleface and leads him by the hand as a father leads an infant son. But, He has forsaken His Red children, if they really are His. Our God, the Great Spirit, seems also to have forsaken us. Your God makes your people wax stronger every day. Soon they will fill all the land. Our people are ebbing away like a rapidly receding tide that will never return. The white man’s God cannot love our people or He would protect them. They seem to be orphans who can look nowhere for help. How then can we be brothers? How can your God become our God and renew our prosperity and awaken in us dreams of returning greatness? If we have a common Heavenly Father He must be partial, for He came to His paleface children. We never saw Him. He gave you laws but had no word for His red children whose teeming multitudes once filled this vast continent as stars fill the firmament. No; we are two distinct races with separate origins and separate destinies. There is little in common between us.

 To us the ashes of our ancestors are sacred and their resting place is hallowed ground. You wander far from the graves of your ancestors and seemingly without regret. Your religion was written upon tablets of stone by the iron finger of your God so that you could not forget. The Red Man could never comprehend or remember it. Our religion is the traditions of our ancestors — the dreams of our old men, given them in solemn hours of the night by the Great Spirit; and the visions of our sachems, and is written in the hearts of our people.

 Your dead cease to love you and the land of their nativity as soon as they pass the portals of the tomb and wander away beyond the stars. They are soon forgotten and never return. Our dead never forget this beautiful world that gave them being. They still love its verdant valleys, its murmuring rivers, its magnificent mountains, sequestered vales and verdant lined lakes and bays, and ever yearn in tender fond affection over the lonely hearted living, and often return from the happy hunting ground to visit, guide, console, and comfort them.

 Day and night cannot dwell together. The Red Man has ever fled the approach of the White Man, as the morning mist flees before the morning sun. However, your proposition seems fair and I think that my people will accept it and will retire to the reservation you offer them. Then we will dwell apart in peace, for the words of the Great White Chief seem to be the words of nature speaking to my people out of dense darkness.

 It matters little where we pass the remnant of our days. They will not be many. The Indian’s night promises to be dark. Not a single star of hope hovers above his horizon. Sad-voiced winds moan in the distance. Grim fate seems to be on the Red Man’s trail, and wherever he will hear the approaching footsteps of his fell destroyer and prepare stolidly to meet his doom, as does the wounded doe that hears the approaching footsteps of the hunter.

 A few more moons, a few more winters, and not one of the descendants of the mighty hosts that once moved over this broad land or lived in happy homes, protected by the Great Spirit, will remain to mourn over the graves of a people once more powerful and hopeful than yours. But why should I mourn at the untimely fate of my people? Tribe follows tribe, and nation follows nation, like the waves of the sea. It is the order of nature, and regret is useless. Your time of decay may be distant, but it will surely come, for even the White Man whose God walked and talked with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from the common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We will see.

 We will ponder your proposition and when we decide we will let you know. But should we accept it, I here and now make this condition that we will not be denied the privilege without molestation of visiting at any time the tombs of our ancestors, friends, and children. Every part of this soil is sacred in the estimation of my people. Every hillside, every valley, every plain and grove, has been hallowed by some sad or happy event in days long vanished. Even the rocks, which seem to be dumb and dead as the swelter in the sun along the silent shore, thrill with memories of stirring events connected with the lives of my people, and the very dust upon which you now stand responds more lovingly to their footsteps than yours, because it is rich with the blood of our ancestors, and our bare feet are conscious of the sympathetic touch. Our departed braves, fond mothers, glad, happy hearted maidens, and even the little children who lived here and rejoiced here for a brief season, will love these somber solitudes and at eventide they greet shadowy returning spirits. And when the last Red Man shall have perished, and the memory of my tribe shall have become a myth among the White Men, these shores will swarm with the invisible dead of my tribe, and when your children’s children think themselves alone in the field, the store, the shop, upon the highway, or in the silence of the pathless woods, they will not be alone. In all the earth there is no place dedicated to solitude. At night when the streets of your cities and villages are silent and you think them deserted, they will throng with the returning hosts that once filled them and still love this beautiful land. The White Man will never be alone.

 Let him be just and deal kindly with my people, for the dead are not powerless. Dead, did I say? There is no death, only a change of worlds.

Chief Seattle (1864)

The only known photograph of Chief Seattle, taken 1864

Chief Seattle or Sealth (Lushootseed: siʔaɬ) (c. 1786 – June 7, 1866) was a leader of the Suquamish and Duwamish Native American tribes in what is now Washington state. A prominent figure among his people, he pursued a path of accommodation to white settlers, forming a personal relationship with David Swinson “Doc” Maynard. Maynard was an advocate of Native American rights whose friendship with Chief Seattle was important in the formation of the city of Seattle. When the first plats for the village were filed on May 23, 1853, due to Maynard’s prompting, it was for the “Town of Seattle.”

While known as “Chief Seattle,” there were in fact no hereditary chiefs among the Puget Sound tribes. From time to time leaders arose who distinguished themselves by their actions or particular skills, and were respected and followed. There were fishing leaders, peacetime leaders, and leaders in times of crisis.

Beyond leadership skills and the gift of oratory, Chief Seattle had the desire for the two vastly different cultures to coexist in peace. He both observed and played a part in the birth of a small village named after him, that has since grown into a large metropolis known for its innovation, openness, diversity and love for creation. It is a remarkable legacy for a remarkable man.

An interview with Richard Connor on “Severed”

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Producer Richard Connor is currently slated to write and produce the film Severed. Based on the murder of The Black Dahlia, it is set to bring the world a look at Elizabeth Short in a way only Connor could do.

Some of his earliest works include the cult film Doin Time on Planet Earth (written by Darren Star, who created Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, and Sex in the City). He worked alongside Charles Matthau and later formed The Matthau Company, which focused on finding projects for Charles and his father the legendary Walter Matthau to work on together. Some of the works they released were The Incident, Mrs. Lambert, The Grass Harp, and The Marriage Fool.

Richard has also worked as a producer for America’s Funniest Home Videos and currently resides in Los Angeles. It was my pleasure to sit down with him to learn more about the Severed project.

Can you tell us a little about your background? What were you like as a child? What memories to you treasure most from your early days?

First off, thank you for inviting me today, it’s a pleasure to be with you.

I was born in Illinois, the youngest of 5 kids, the baby of the family. We moved out to Southern California when I was 4, so I’m basically a Los Angeles native. I was a very active kid, into sports all of that stuff, played Little League baseball, everything. As a kid, I thought I’d become a baseball star. I idolized Willie Mays. Didn’t quite work out for me, though!

Anyway, it was pretty much an idyllic early childhood, I really had no idea how good we had it—we lived in a new house with a big swimming pool, great neighborhood, etc. A few years later, dark realities like unemployment and divorce hit our family and shook things up significantly. By the time I was in high school, it was just me and my mom, and we were living basically at a poverty level. It was almost the reverse of the American dream: start off in a big two-story house, and 10 years later, end up living in a cruddy apartment overlooking the boulevard. It toughened us up, I think. My mom really held us together.

Did you always have a love of film and television?

Absolutely. We were one of those families that used to sit around and watch TV together at night, 7 people gathered in the family room enjoying Star Trek or Mission: Impossible or whatever movie was on. I had quite the imagination and would really let those shows transport me. I must have been influenced by them in some way, because when I was about 8, I attempted to write a novel. All I remember about it was the title: The House of Fear. I think I bailed after 2 pages. I guess that was my first introduction to writer’s block.

Another factor was, my uncle was Edward Ansara, an actor who appeared in lots of television stuff, and I saw him star as Dracula in a play in Hollywood when I was probably 10. That had a huge impact on me, the immediacy of the theater, the audience kind of reacting and participating in this story that was being told a few feet away from us. It gave me the chills. I think perhaps the entertainment “bug” got me right then.

What led you to pursue a career in the industry?

It kind of happened on a lark. I wasn’t sure what I was going to study in college. I was a good writer for a high school kid, I would win every conceivable contest or competition that they would throw at us, I even won a Best Actor award for a play my senior year, but I never realistically thought I’d end up in the film business. It just seemed like a bleak proposition; everyone wanted to do that and almost all of them failed. So there I am, halfway through my senior year in high school, and a couple of my best friends suggested I apply to USC, which interested me because I knew they had a fantastic Cinema School, but it was very expensive and I knew there was no way I could go. They convinced me that scholarships and financial aid and student loans would cover the tuition costs.

So I applied… and sure enough, I got in. The next hurdle was getting into the Cinema School itself, which was the equivalent of getting into Harvard Law or Georgetown Medical—it was that much of a longshot. It basically came down to: I’m going to either get into the Cinema School and try to get into the movie business, or I’m NOT going to get in and I’m going to be an accountant, or something like that. The direction of my life literally hinged on whether I got that acceptance letter.

Halfway through my sophomore year, I got the call… I was in. And thus began my journey.

How do you think the industry has changed most since you first started working in it? How would you like to see it change next?

The industry has changed a ton. It used to be that if you wanted a good entry point in the business, going to a film school was a must. Now, that’s not even necessary; kids today have high-def cameras and know how to edit and mix movies on their computers, plus they have all of these outlets like YouTube to show off their wares. The Internet has really ignited a worldwide film community; everyone is making short films or doing performance videos and some of them generate a significant following.

The flip side to this, of course, is that we have a short-attention-span audience out there now, as they’re growing up on these quick, visual, sonic pieces that the Web has given birth to. Real storytelling has taken a back seat in many ways because people want things loud and brash and spectacular, or else they get bored. You need only look at the success of all of these comic book movies to see that. More intimate stories about real people are now the territory of cable TV or indie films, not movie studios, but I’m hoping they make a comeback and become part of the mainstream again. Perhaps films like The Descendents will swing things back around.

What do you love most about being a producer?

There are different types of producers. Some are the deal-making types, others are good with finances and budgets, and still others are more the “creative-producer” types. I’ve got a little bit of category #1 in me, but basically I’m category #3. I am very interested in making the script work, first and foremost; I don’t think a film should go before the cameras unless the screenplay is as good as it can be. As someone who writes, I love that process.

Hiring the right director and cast is obviously huge, as well, because a mistake in those areas can undo even the best of scripts. So it’s all about meeting those people and making sure they’re on the same wavelength and can help produce the vision you have of the movie, and even surpass that vision with their own ideas. I love working with people, especially creative people, so this is one of the joys of the business to me.

Finally, going all the way back to USC, I am an editor at my core. Editing, in many ways, is writing the movie a second time… what if this scene works more effectively following this scene now, even though it’s different from the script? Which of the shots from this angle allows us to best capture our actor’s intent? And so on.

In short, I love all three phases of the filmmaking process: pre-production, production, and post-production. Some producers dislike one of those categories, but not me.

What was it like to work with Charles and Walter Matthau?

Charlie is one of my best friends in the world; we met at USC and he has been like a brother ever since. He is a director through and through, a perfectionist, he doesn’t miss a thing. He is also welcome to ideas and input, which makes him a joy to work with.

Walter was exactly as you would expect him to be from watching him in movies: brilliantly funny, self-effacing, and just humble as can be. I can say this about very few people in this business, but he was completely unchanged by his fame. He was the same guy as a movie star as he was when he was a starving actor struggling to make a living in New York City. I consider it a blessing that I got to work with him.

What do you think you’d be doing right now if you hadn’t of became a producer?

I’d probably be a film editor. I came very, very close to going in that direction graduating from USC, but other job offers sent me in a different direction.

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Are there any little known facts about yourself you’d not mind sharing with our readers?

If anyone here has ever watched an episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos, and is familiar with that show’s well-known musical montages… well, those are mine. They are a complete kick. You haven’t lived until you’ve cut a montage of people wiping out to a Katy Perry tune.

Author John Gilmore and detail from his painting ,"REDEMPTION", dealing with the post-death lives of Bonnie & Clyde.

Author John Gilmore and detail from his painting ,”REDEMPTION”, dealing with the post-death lives of Bonnie & Clyde. Photo by Don Goodman.

I was sent to you by the iconic noir author John Gilmore. Have you known him long? Why do you think his work is so iconic? Do you find him as fascinating as I do?

I reached out to Mr. Gilmore around June of this year. I had been a fan of SEVERED since it came out, and felt like enough time had passed since Brian DePalma’s film THE BLACK DAHLIA was released where I could revisit the idea of making a movie in this town about Elizabeth Short. And Gilmore’s book, to me, was the only one that made sense. So I contacted him and asked him if the book was currently under option. He said no, so we met, and I pitched him exactly how I saw the movie being realized. We agreed to terms and have since become good friends.

Mr. Gilmore is indeed iconic, because he was born in Los Angeles and really has this town’s seedy underbelly ingrained. He has seen all of the horrible things going on beyond L.A.’s shiny veneers and he writes about them in an almost detached, matter-of-fact way that just chills you. “Fascinating” doesn’t even begin to describe Gilmore. Here’s a former actor who was dear friends with James Dean and Marilyn Monroe back in the day but also sat down with Charles Manson face to face literally hours after the latter’s arrest. He is a fearless, brilliant man.

EarlCarroll

Elizabeth Short in Hollywood

What influenced you to produce the film based on the murder of Elizabeth Short?

Like so many people, I have always been fascinated by the true story of “The Black Dahlia”. It’s probably the greatest “open” unsolved murder in Los Angeles history. It involves a classic scenario of a beautiful girl coming to Hollywood to find fame, and within a matter of months, she is dead, brutally murdered, in senseless fashion. The fact that she DID became famous, but in death, is a heartbreaking irony. So first and foremost, I believe there was a great story to tell here. Secondly, it hadn’t been told yet—not properly, anyway. So I decided to acquire the rights to SEVERED, because that was the best book on the subject as far as I was concerned. It had everything I needed, Gilmore had done all of the hard work for me. He had done the research, he had interviewed every conceivable person connected to the crime or to Beth’s life. I felt he captured the gravitas of the event better than anyone ever did… the tragedy of it, the sense of loss, the futility of those trying to solve it or even make sense of it. More importantly, I feel like Gilmore found and met the actual killer. I know this is a major point of contention with Dahlia aficionados, but I truly believe that Jack Anderson Wilson murdered Beth Short. I wouldn’t endeavor to make this film if I didn’t believe that.

Elizabeth Short

Elizabeth Short

Will this piece show more of her as living individual as opposed to just focusing on her being a victim?

I would say about half of the film will involve Beth as a living person occupying the story. The rest will be the investigation—not just the police investigation initially, but Gilmore’s private and very personal investigation many years later. Structuring all of this is tricky, because it covers decades and people remembering things and differing points of view, etc. It is very challenging to write, but I love it.

Why do you think the world is still so taken with the story of her demise?

Several reasons. The fact that it is unsolved. The fact that somebody got away with it. The fact that it was such a brutal murder—“the worst ever committed upon a woman”, the coroner said. The fact that Beth Short’s whereabouts for the week prior to her body being discovered is mostly a mystery. And finally, it all goes back to what I said earlier: a young starlet shows up in Hollywood to become a star, fails… but then, tragically, becomes famous in death. That connects with people, because that’s the American Dream turned upside-down and shaken.

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What can our readers expect from the film? Do you know who will be starring in it yet?

I have no idea who will be starring in it. I plan on completing the script before the year is over and then pursuing every great actor I can find to occupy key roles, because I think “packaging” is a big key in getting any movie made. Movie studios like it when you have a major star attached to your project; it gives them a good reason to say “yes”. I will say that I doubt very much the role of Elizabeth Short will be played by a “name” actress. I prefer she is a complete unknown, because I don’t want the audience to associate a famous actress’s previous work at all with Ms. Short.

What people can expect from this film is that it will be a serious, high-quality piece of work which treats Elizabeth Short and the events surrounding her murder with respect. It will not be without its share of thrills, chills, and intense drama. I consider David Fincher’s ZODIAC the gold standard for rendering a true-crime saga onto the big screen. Whether you agreed with John Graysmith’s “take” on that story or not, you have to appreciate the way that film was put together in terms of the production, the acting, the authenticity, everything. I can only hope that this project achieves that level.

What do you hope to accomplish with your portrayal of Ms. Short?

To me, that’s the biggest challenge of this film: capturing the true Beth Short. Because this was a complex, charming, sad young woman. She carried stress and pain around with her and yet she lit up rooms when she entered them. She was naïve but also canny. I don’t agree with (Detective) Harry Hansen’s characterization of Beth as being “a tramp”, but I also don’t think she was an “innocent”. People tend to romanticize tragic real-life figures; Marilyn Monroe is a classic example. Elizabeth Short was a girl who possessed a great many shadings. There was nothing black and white about her… well, except for her photographs.

Robertson

What other projects are you looking forward to bringing the world next?

I’ll be preoccupied with SEVERED for awhile, but I am very interested in bringing other high-profile true crime stories to the big screen. For instance, I can’t believe that the best production we’ve ever seen on the Charles Manson/Sharon Tate murders was a TV movie, HELTER SKELTER, way back in 1976. Surely there is room for that to be a feature film someday… not an exploitative one but a quality, big-budget one. So I am looking into that as well as other projects of that ilk for the not-too-distant future.

Anything you’d like to say in closing?

Just to keep an eye out for news on SEVERED in the upcoming months! I hope I can make Black Dahlia devotees everywhere proud by finally giving this story the thoughtful treatment that it deserves. And thank you again for having me!

John Gilmore's "Severed: The True Story of the Black Dahlia"

John Gilmore’s “Severed: The True Story of the Black Dahlia

Severed on Amazon

(Also on our site see SHE A Memory of Marilyn by John Gilmore)

“The Total Eclipse of a Life Too Toxic to Look Directly Into” by Meg Tuite

The Total Eclipse of a Life Too Toxic to Look Directly Into

What had happened to that crashing wave that rose up to penetrate
the sand my feet felt to be true, slippery the way my eyes discarded you.
My feet dangled from between metal stirrups as I stuttered through my galaxy of anxiety, never planned to sing hymns to the prescription you wrote for me.

What if something happened to you? I clutched the paper
you gave me that promised three months of a world
that whispered you were breathing.

What if you decided to move to Nebraska
or raked yourself over with Oxycodone, Oxycontin, morphine,
had to go to rehab or Disneyland?

Maybe my life was in the hands of someone who mutilated more than me.
I never noticed your eyes. You were drunk on words that straddled poles around each form that paid homage to your pen.

I folded your prescription into a tiny square that fit itself into a sunless place in my wallet. It was my vacation itinerary.

What if I took each pill, a prayer on my tongue
and nothing changed?
A slot machine of side effects
Today, headache, nausea, shortness of breath
Tomorrow, cramping, weight gain, libido sucked dry
and every atom continued to become denser than the one
before it?

What if my life was a placebo?
mom on her knees
scrubbing the bottom of the refrigerator
with a toothbrush
while dad picked up
hitchhikers
that looked like sister
and did them
in hotel rooms
adjacent to mine

nightmare of foul toilets overflowing
because I couldn’t take a shit
without terror of someone
walking in

a voice that abandoned me
when I bled in his car
and smelled of decay
and mothers
or sex
I never knew

or the richest of blurs
that saturated
my mouth, my lips,
my body
into one holiday of a spectacle
that kept me
full of booze, coke, angel dust,
full of myself
finally,
for once.

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Meg Tuite’s writing has appeared in numerous journals including Berkeley Fiction Review, MadHatter’s Review, Epiphany, JMWW, One, the Journal, Monkeybicycle and Boston Literary Magazine. She has been nominated several times for the Pushcart Prize. She is fiction editor of Santa Fe Literary Review and Connotation Press, author of Domestic Apparition (2011) San Francisco Bay Press, Disparate Pathos (2012) Monkey Puzzle Press, Reverberations (2012) Deadly Chaps Press, Implosion and other stories (2013) Sententia Books and has edited & co-authored The Exquisite
 Quartet Anthology-2011 and 2012 from her monthly column, Exquisite Quartet published in Used Furniture Review. Her blog: http://megtuite.wordpress.com.